Lisa B, Mrs. S

A Hair Model Goes Bald

2012-03-11T12:15:00.001-04:00

When Seconda developed alopecia areata at age two, The Man and I were scared. How much hair would she lose? How could we get it to grow back? When it became clear that she would lose it all and that there was nothing we could do to make it grow back, we worried about how to treat our bald two year old girl in a way that didn't create emotional problems for her. We read that the emotional pain was the worst part of alopecia because the hair loss itself is painless, and it causes no other physical problems. Seconda was two; she had no self-image as we know it. She did not feel a sense of loss as her hair fell out, and now she doesn't even remember having hair. For some time, Seconda didn't even know she was different from other kids.

Alopecia areata is rare, but still a lot more common than people think. About five million Americans are afflicted. Yet, people with alopecia usually cover it up. It's fairly easy to do that if you have a few patches of hair loss. Older children and adults with the more severe alopecia totalis and alopecia universalis often wear wigs. Seconda has a wig which she wears occasionally. When she does, it doesn't last long. Bangs are uncomfortable.

Last night, ABC News ran a segment about alopecia on their 20/20 special called "My Extreme Affliction". It featured actress and hair model Georgia Van Cuylenburg, whose alopecia onset began after she moved to Los Angeles to further her acting career. Take a look.

video platform video management video solutions video player

I can only guess how hard it is to not look like anyone else around you in your daily life. I want to show Seconda examples of people with alopecia doing good things and leading normal lives. I want her to know she is not alone. Groups like the Children's Alopecia Project (shown in the 20/20 clip!) and the National Alopecia Areata Foundation provide those examples and community. We've had the pleasure to meet Georgia at CAP's annual Alopeciapalooza, as well as the brave ladies behind Women Behaving Baldly - Laura Hudson and Margaret Baker. Miss Delaware 2010, Kayla Martell, is another role model for Seconda and others, as are NBA player Charlie Villanueva and Olympic swimmer Staciana Stitts. I thank them all for sharing their stories, making Seconda's journey less lonely. I hope she'll pass the favor forward when she can.

The Return of the Spider People

2012-03-08T18:34:00.000-05:00

There are phases to art development in children, and one of my favorites is the one I call Spider People. This phase usually happens right after scribbles, and it's the first really representational art kids make.

Hmm...two spider people are not happy with one spider person,
but one spider person is happy with herself, isn't she?

Painted Spider People

We even have Spider Bats.

Aren't they cute? I noticed that Terza is in this phase now, and it brought back so many memories of Prima and Seconda's artwork. Even though each of my kids have unique personalities and learning styles, they each drew like this. During the Spider People phase, they also usually wrote my name (Mama) like this: MAMAMA. All caps, three syllables, without fail.

I need to frame this one.

Now, Don't All Answer At Once!

2012-03-07T21:17:00.002-05:00

The League of Women Voters of Howard County and the PTA Council of Howard County co-hosted a Candidate Forum for the Howard County Board of Education candidates on Monday evening. There are fourteen people running for school board, so they took shifts appearing before the microphones to answer questions. The same questions were asked in the same order to each group of candidates, and they each made opening and closing remarks.

Did you miss it? Here it is. (If the video below doesn't play for you, watch it here. You'll need the Silverlight plugin installed.)

And, here's an article from Sara Toth and an article from Columbia Patch reviewing the forum.

As was mentioned in the Patch live blog, the candidates were often hesitant to answer questions. Sometimes it seemed they were "saving" their allotted speaking opportunities, kind of like they were pacing themselves. Other times, it did seem like they were thinking. Still other times, it seemed like no one wanted to go first. Chaun Hightower, the president of PTACHC and one of the moderators, did a really nice job allowing "think time" while keeping us in the at-home audience tuned-in.

I'm going to pick the low-hanging fruit first and note that Allen Dyer didn't seem to be running for reelection so much as he was campaigning for people to not vote Ellen Flynn Giles, Janet Siddiqui, and Patricia Gordon back onto the Board.

A lot of nice things were said by a lot of the candidates. Nice things said don't always translate into good things done, though. One of my major frustrations with these school board candidate forums is that every question is designed to be broad enough to apply to each candidate. That means there are no questions about why the incumbents say they support this or that so what have they done with in their time in office to further the progress of this or that. Also, the questions were heavy on philosophy and light on practicality. A few of the candidates did point to specific examples of improvements we could make or experiences they have had that would benefit the school system, but I would have preferred more directed questions mixed in.

The voters of Howard County have a big decision to make in this primary in choosing three candidates from this field of 14. I certainly hope all of the candidates have been making their way around the county, getting to know people and getting to be known.

Please, watch and tell me what you think? What impressed you? What do you still want to know?

hocoblogs@@@

Test Anxiety

2012-03-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

One day it's homework nightmares, the next it's test anxiety.

The day before a placement test, Prima came home happy, but before she put her coat away she was in tears over said test.

"We have less than a minute to answer each question!" she sobbed. "This test is unlike any test I've ever seen before!" Prima was so worked up, so upset, that she was simultaneous afraid of failing and passing the test. "I don't even want to be in GT math because there's like an hour of math homework alone and I don't know how that will work for our family because of drama club and piano lessons and karate."

Whoa, child. Breathe.

After a lot of hugging and breathing, she calmed down. The Man and I told her not to worry about the time per question. One minute sounds like a short amount of time, but it really is very long. She could answer a few questions in one minute. As for the homework load, we would deal with that if we have to, but we don't have to think about that now.

Prima's teacher explained how the classroom conversation about the test went that day, and kept an eye on Prima the next morning. It is hugely comforting to have such a compassionate and communicative teacher. I got an email from her during the day on test day that Prima had been relaxed and happy. Sure enough, when Prima got off the bus in the afternoon she incredulously described how easy the test was.

"It was SOOO easy. I mean, the first question was 'Which is greater: 9+2 or 13-5? Come on!"

We cleared that hurdle, but the next is approaching. The MSAs begin the week after next, and Prima is already showing signs of nerves. I remember taking standardized tests in elementary school, (California Achievement Test, anyone?) but I don't remember worrying about them. Prima isn't unique with this text anxiety, either. I've heard her classmates ask worried questions and speak of the MSAs in hushed tones and a sense of serious seriousness.

These worries may get worse before they get better. In a few years, we may have the "perfect storm" of testing as the MSAs and new assessments overlap. Test anxiety isn't in and of itself a horrible problem that must be totally eradicated, but if allowed to build to excess it is counterproductive.

I still have far more questions about test anxiety than I have answers, so I'll take the same advice I gave to Prima before her placement test: take it one step at a time.

What are your thoughts on testing culture, anxiety, and how to help your children with it all?

hocoblogs@@@

Walk Like an Egyptologist

2012-02-27T13:56:00.002-05:00

Ooph. It's been awhile. We took a trip, then I played catch-up for a week. I'm finally back. Hi!

I kind of love planning parties for kids. It lets me be a teacher again, with all of the fun parts and none of the rest. Yesterday, we had an Ancient Egypt Exploration party with some friends from church. As The Man said after, "That sounded like everyone had a lot of fun." You probably heard all of that fun if you walked near our house, with my laughter as loud as the kids.

Hieroglyphics mark the entrance.

As the guests arrived, we each chose a name tag to identify our respective institutions of Egyptology. Members of the Queen Nefretiti Jewel Museum, the Pyramid Geological Research Team, the Egyptian Mummy Museum, and the Snake and Serpent Research Center were in attendance.

I like to start parties with a coloring activity because it's an easy and calm thing for kids to do while we wait for all guests to arrive. I also like to alternate calm and active games, which helps to keep the party from getting too wild or too boring.

Our first active game was Pin the Pyramid on the Nile. I drew a simple map of Egypt on poster board and printed pictures of pyramids on the same type of label as the name tags. The kids ages ranged from 4 to 11, and I loved how such a simple game was such fun for all of them.

Next, we played Missing Treasure. I prepared three bags of items related to aspects of Ancient Egyptian culture: food, tomb treasures, and achievements. The food bag contained an onion, a head of garlic, a slice of bread, a bottle of beer, a toy fish, and a toy cucumber. The tomb treasures were jewelry, a small vase, a scarab beetle, and a shabti. The achievements bag held items that symbolized literature (book), art (paintbrush), farming (toy farm animals), construction (toy dump truck), mathematics (flashcard), and medicine (toy stethoscope). For each bag, I set the items out on the table. We talked about them, then the kids closed their eyes while I removed something. When they opened their eyes, they had to shout out what was missing. For the achievements round, the kids named the achievements instead of the items.

That was a calm game, so next up was Wrap the Mummy! Let's wrap each other up in toilet paper! It was hilarious. One team had a hard time with the t.p., so they wrapped each other in window drapes and called it done.

The Mummy of Terza

After all of that, we were hungry. We entered the Egyptian Palace (dining room) and dined on a fantastic feast of grapes, watermelon, cucumber slices, pita chips, and hummus. We drank water, lemonade, and a few brave Egyptologists tried the ginger ale.

The table is decorated with bead necklaces and gold coins from the party store.

While they ate, the kids bargained with each other for the sale of their bead necklaces and jeweled rings. Two coins for one, ten coins for three...all sorts of offers were made. Then we took inspiration from the hieroglyphics on the wall and created cartouches in air-dry clay. Each child had the hieroglyphic and cuneiform codes, a ball of clay, a lollipop stick, a plastic knife, and a wooden dowel. They went to work writing their names in the clay using the codes.

After that, Prima started a game of Night in the Museum. One player was the night security guard; the rest were statues. If the guard caught you moving or laughing by sight or flashlight, you became the next guard. It was hilarious. The guard usually couldn't keep her composure when she saw the fantastic poses by the "scupltures". This game eventually evolved into full-on, giggle-filled game of hide-and-seek. These were definitely the two best hours of my weekend.

Exit Card - February 18, 2012 (Common Core: There's an App for That)

2012-02-18T07:00:00.000-05:00

Exit cards are a type of quick little assessment tool teachers can use to check how a lesson went with their class. Pass out index cards, ask a short question, and give students a few minutes to answer at the end of class, collect as they leave. I want to do a week-in-review type post each week, but I don't want to call them Week-in-Review. So, I'll call them Exit Cards.

I learned that Howard County bloggers and blog readers are a very nice group of people. Monday night's HoCo Blogtail Party at The Corner Stable was a lot of fun. It was my first time meeting many of these bloggers, people I've followed for sometime, and I really enjoyed it. Thank you Jessie Newburn and Brian Dunn for hosting the party!

I learned that if you are a teacher or parent who wants to keep the Common Core State Standards straight, there's an app for that.

I learned that I have the sweetest kids in the world when they brought The Man and I breakfast in bed on Valentine's Day. Toast with peanut butter, coffee, and handmade cards on a silver tray - I love those kids!

I learned that I am so incredibly out of shape. I must have been in denial about that, but those illusions were shattered in one hour of personal training at the gym. Ugh. I spent two days after the workout trying not to yelp in pain while descending stairs...or sitting down...or standing up again. I'm told it gets better. Here's hoping.

Speaking of teachers, I learned that my kids have fantastic math teachers. Our parent-teacher conferences went very well. There were no surprises because the teachers keep us updated weekly. Fifteen minutes was a good amount of face-time for me to dig a little deeper than the Friday Folder notes allow. Thanks, Teachers!

How was your week?
hocoblogs@@@

There Will Come a Time, You'll See

2012-02-17T06:04:00.000-05:00

I had a dream a few weeks ago. I was somewhere like a workshop or worship service, some place with rows of seats. There were many familiar faces. At then end of the speech/sermon/lecture, as we stood to leave, we milled about and chatted. My Nonna was with us.

She had been sitting in the row in front of me. When the session ended, she stood. She stood tall. (In her final years of life, she hunched, used a walker, and finally used a wheelchair to get around. She went from being several inches taller than me, to being pretty much my height in a matter of a few years.)

In my dream, Nonna's hair was pulled back into that elegant silver bun she wore when I was a child. As she stood there tall with her elegant hair, she pulled out a notepad and pencil. Then, Nonna got every single person's email address.

Even though Nonna didn't use computers, collecting email addresses does seem like something she would've done. She was a social butterfly, for sure, and she often surprised us. The woman who devotedly listened to opera on Saturdays also watched The Bachelorette.

I woke from the dream with such gratitude. The dream was like a gift, a gift of time with Nonna. Then throughout the day, it seemed like every time I turned the car on or changed the channel, Gavin DeGraw sang "Dreams, that's where I have to go, to see your face anymore...." That was a weepy day for me, for sure, but nothing like last Saturday when I heard this.

And now I cling to what I knew

I saw exactly what was true

But oh, no more, that's why I hold

That's why I hold with all I have, that's why I hold

Oh my, the truth in this song gets me every single time. It poured out of my eyes and shuddered through my core and wailed from my voice. And now, it's stuck in my head.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears

And love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears

Get over your hill and see what you find there

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

Somehow, this song feels like a gift, too. It's a gift of knowing that this love and loss has always been and always will be, and that's not the end of the story. There will come a time for me, and for all of us, with no more tears and with an encompassing comforting love.

(lyrics: After the Storm by Mumford & Sons)

Common Core - the Basis of the Brouhaha

2012-02-15T09:52:00.001-05:00

Would any of us outside of the school system have even been thinking, let alone talking and blogging about changing the middle school schedule were it not for Common Core? Nope.

So, since we heard a lot of "Common Core requires us..." I thought we could take a look what Common Core State Standards actually are. I mean, I know that school system and school-based staff have had working knowledge of them for awhile, but us parents, not so much.

Howard County, as well as other Maryland school systems, is changing the K-12 curriculum to align with the Maryland Common Core State Standards. In 2010, the Maryland State Board of Education approved adoption of the Common Core State Standards for English/Language Arts & Literacy in History/Social Studies, Science and Technical Subjects and the Common Core State Standards for Mathematics. The federal government did not develop the CCSS; it was a state-led effort. A brief history of the CCSS can be read here.

I first heard about Common Core from HCPSS when someone from the math office came to a PTA meeting last school year to describe the changes Common Core will bring to the elementary math curriculum. (I wish someone came to discuss the changes to middle school reading as well.)

The discussion and focus this year, though, is on the way the school system will change the middle school program to align with the Common Core standards for English and literacy. This video gives a good overview of the Common Core reforms and how they apply to middle school.

Questions? Thoughts?

hocoblogs@@@

Exit Card - February 12, 2012 (Penfriendship)

2012-02-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

I learned that there's never a dull moment around here. Just one day after I dealt with homework demons, Prima had a major meltdown due to test anxiety. I'm sure I'll write more on that later, but for now let's just say she got very worked up about a standardized placement test. She feared failure and she feared success. Oy.

I learned that there is more than one Board in this county with difficult relationships between members.

I learned that the "Number 1 School System" in the state/country/universe just dismantled the very program that developed its middle school students into the best readers in the state.

I learned that primary elections are confusing. The bottom line is that everyone can vote in a primary, just not for every contest. Go to the Maryland Elections Center site to see your sample ballot, to register to vote (if you haven't already) and to find your polling place. The primary is April 3, 2012, and early voting is available.

I learned that C. S. Lewis and his wife Helen Joy Gresham enjoyed a deep penfriendship before marrying, as described by Helen's son in the introduction to Lewis' A Grief Observed. This got me thinking about the evolution of penfriendships in my own life. They began with elementary school pen pal projects, then teenage correspondence with a friend of my Italian relatives and notes to a high school friend during his year as foreign exchange student. Email changed everything and allowed me to stay in touch with friends during and after college. Then, Facebook changed everything again, then Twitter and blogging. Blogging is a big source of penfriendship, of deep and valued relationships for so many. Just look at the outpouring of love and grief over the death this week of Susan Niebur. On Monday night, I hope to take the first step in nurturing some of my penfriendships into in-real-life-friends. Come on out to the next HoCoBlogs party at The Corner Stable and chat awhile.

hocoblogs@@@

My Take on Voting

2012-02-10T08:10:00.000-05:00

I have to say, my parents did me a huge favor. They taught me to pay attention to current events and to use that information to vote. I can't think of a more important right, duty, or benefit of citizenship in this country than voting, and my parents taught me that lesson by example.

I don't remember too much before about fourth or fifth grade, but at least since then, the evening news played on our TV every night. My parents talked about it with each other, and sometimes with me. They subscribed to The Washington Post and TIME magazine. They read them, and I read them.

Every Election Day, our schedule would be a little off because my parents had to fit voting in to their after-work routine. Then, the TV would play the election coverage. I learned that Election Day was an important day, not because my parents lectured me about its importance, but because of the quiet way they went about the business of being informed and involved citizens. I learned by example.

I graduated from high school in a presidential election year. I was thrilled that I could exercise my right to vote so soon after getting it. Knowing that I would be away at college on Election Day, I filled out my absentee ballot and sent it in. I have voted in every general election since.

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The "big ticket" offices, like President, Senator, Governor, and others get almost all of the coverage, from news media to social media. The down-ballot offices of Board of Education, however, are easily overlooked and under-appreciated for the importance they play in our lives and in the effect they have on our society. I know of people who vote for familiar names. I know of people who vote for whomever the teachers' union endorses. I know of people who vote for a candidate simply because that candidate's literature was passed to them on the way into the polling place.

I may be preaching to the converted here, but I'm going to ask us all to do more than that.

Last night, by a vote of 5-3, the Howard County Board of Education voted to eliminate reading classes in grades 6-8. ELIMINATE READING CLASSES! Ok, it's a little more nuanced than that. It's not a complete elimination because some self-congratulating Board members struck a compromise with senior school system staff to mandate that sixth graders take two quarters of "reading modules". (I'd say one semester, but it's not clear if the two quarters need to be consecutive.)

I'm still shaking my head at this. I've watched the meetings and read the news articles and talked to some parents of middle schoolers. I think for the school system to propose eliminating a program that has been as successful as the middle school reading program has been since the late 1990's, that the burden of proof, so to speak, is on the system. The system should give clear and convincing evidence for why a successful program must be scrapped for an untested, never piloted program. The system should give strong rationale for how the new program will benefit students, and how that benefit will be measured. In the case of middle school reading, HCPSS didn't do that.

So, it is because this is just the latest (and biggest) example of our elected school board doing so little to communicate with ALL of their stakeholders (teachers, students, parents, central office staff, administrators, etc.) that I am asking you all to pay extra careful attention to the upcoming election.

Read everything you can in the newspaper and online news sites about our current Board, and about the 15 candidates running in the primary. Check the Letters to the Editor sections, because candidates do write letters. Go to hcpsstv.com and watch the board meetings to see how the three incumbents conduct themselves (Janet Siddiqui, Ellen Giles, Allen Dyer). Click on Public Forum within the meeting viewer to hear from some of the candidates. I can recall Ann DeLacy, Leslie Kornreich, and Olga Butler all speaking at various meetings in the last few months, at Public Forum and during public hearings on various policies. Find the candidates on Facebook. Read the blogs.

Finally, hear from all of the candidates at once during the League of Women Voter's of Howard County Candidate Forum. It will be held on March 5, 2012. The details are here. You will get to see and hear all of the candidates in one place, answering questions. It's like one-stop comparison shopping. I highly recommend it.

hocoblogs@@@

P.S. The primary is April 3, 2012. If you have questions about voter registration, go here.

Homework Rant

2012-02-06T17:45:00.001-05:00

I made a big mistake this afternoon. I made my kids do their homework.

Our normal after school routine goes like this:

arrive home from the bus stop
unpack
eat snack
start homework
play
dinner
bath/bed

The girls were in fantastic, playful moods when they got off the bus today. It was warm enough, so they played outside near the bus stop for awhile. They played with each other, and they very obviously were loving their time together. I love it when their sisterly bonds are so clearly evident. After about ten minutes, we went on home.

This is where it began to go downhill. Prima and Seconda had serious cases of the giggles, which is generally good news, except that they were knocking each other into fences and landscape lighting all the way home. This just set my nerves on edge.

When we get inside, they can hardly contain their silliness. They manage to get unpacked and start snack, but not without spilling water all over the floor and nearly choking on some almonds. I ended snack time early.

Since Terza is still in preschool, I have to assign her "homework" so she doesn't bother her sisters or distract them by "getting" to do "fun stuff" while they have to do homework. She practiced her piano and worked on some Starfall games. This went pretty smoothly.

Prima and Seconda, however, seemed to be still wound up enough to not be able to keep their focus. Think of Dory from Finding Nemo - times two. After answering their barrage of questions, they set off to complete their assignments. This was when the thought crept into my brain: I hate homework.

I am sure that there are appropriate uses for homework. I am sure their are excellent homework assignments out there that enhance student learning. I also have no complaints about the assignments my girls had tonight. I just hate the general practice of homework.

I hate it because, although I know this all the time, it was especially clear to me tonight that our kids get way to little time to move their bodies and move their mouths in school. All of the structures and systems of present-day education require that kids sit down and be quiet. It's not fair. I don't think the teachers particularly want it this way, either, but what can they do? High-stakes testing on reading and math have created a tense environment. Teachers are constantly being asked to do more with less. More rigorous instruction, less time to plan for it. More required assessments and data analysis, less time to help the students reach the assessed standards. More students, less teachers. More work, less pay. More demands, less input.

(See, I told you it would be a rant.)

I made a big mistake tonight. I should have just let my kids play until they got their fill. If we had time after that, then they could have done their homework. I don't sacrifice their sleep, and I don't sacrifice their nutrition, so why should I sacrifice this other vital sustenance: play?

Exit Card - February 4, 2012 (FedEx Day)

2012-02-04T07:30:00.000-05:00

I learned about FedEx Days, in which students are given a day (or class period, depending) to research and develop some kind of work product around a topic of their choice. This idea came out of the business world, and the name is derived from the requirement that the product be delivered within 24 hours. (This is so cool!)

I learned that the Montgomery County Public Schools Superintendent runs book clubs, and they aren't your neighborhood book clubs, either. These include the author of the book and a panel of teachers, as well as a large studio audience. To reach out even further, the book club uses Skype to reach a second location at a local bookstore, and they take questions from both audiences as well as Twitter and email during the live broadcast. I cannot tell you how cool it was to see that. I feel like we are living under a rock here in HCPSS-land.

I learned that since you can't be in two places at once, when push comes to shove a meeting about closing local pools and another about the future of fracking in Maryland draw far more people than the one and only chance to testify on the proposed HCPSS operating budget. Six people testified. The hearing took, at most, thirty minutes. Hmm.

I learned that when you assign a long-term project in the HoCo blogosphere, you get similar turn-in patterns as you do in high school English. Some kids turn in the project early, some turn in just in time, and some don't turn it in at all. Huge thanks to HoCoPolitico for being the first local site to get info out about most of our Board of Education candidates! Twelve candidate interviews are up - go read them!

I learned that I can ask my kids what they did that shows that they are full of awesome, and they don't even hesitate to name something. Of course I think my kids are full of awesome, but it's really wonderful to know that when I send them out into the world for six hours a day, they still know it about themselves. (I love their school!)

hocoblogs@@@

Is This Thing On?

2012-02-03T13:04:00.000-05:00

Last week, I wrote about communication failures in the HCPSS. Communication between the Superintendent/Central Office and the Board of Ed and the teachers and the employees' union seems to leave much to be desired.

Communication with parents, at least this parent, also leaves much to be desired.

As a teenager and young adult, much of what I knew about current events in Howard County schools and Howard County government came from reading the Columbia Flier every Thursday. By reading the paper I learned about candidates for office, changes to curriculum programs, construction projects, redistricting, and celebrations of school achievements.

That remained true when I moved back to this county about ten years ago. When I became an HCPSS parent, however, I was pleased to get additional information through frequent email newsletters from our school and our school system. Today, these communications, along with HCPSS TV and the BoardDocs system really enhance my ability to participate in my children's public school education. I also greatly appreciate the text messaging system in place to deliver inclement weather closings and school bus delays.

That said, HCPSS is living in the 1990's. It is time take another step forward. According to this Pew Research Center report from 2011, 35% of American adults own a smartphone, and 25% of smartphone owners use their phone for most of their online browsing. In addition, 83% of adults in this country have a cell phone of some kind.

Do you see where I am going with this?

It's time for HCPSS to follow the lead of our own Howard County Government and employ social media tools as a part of its communications program. During the historic snowstorms of 2010, County Executive Ulman kept a steady stream of information flowing from his Twitter and Facebook accounts. People could learn and respond in real time. They didn't have to wait for the Flier to publish an article, or a county employee to wait to be plowed out, drive to work, then draft and send an email. Howard County has recently expanded their outreach with the NotifyMeHoward service, which delivers general announcements and public safety alerts to citizens via email or mobile device without requiring people to have a particular social media account. This is a complementary and inclusive communications approach.

Social media isn't just for high school and college students. It is a rare person I meet who does not have a Facebook account. Twitter use is growing day by day. The Washington Post recently ran an article describing Montgomery County Superintendent Starr's Twitter use and the encouragement he gives to his principals and teachers to do the same. The superintendents of Frederick, Prince George's, and St. Mary's counties also use Twitter on an almost daily basis.

The Howard County Public School System has made great progress since the days of paper-only communications. How about we build on that progress? Neighboring school systems and our own county government have set an example of meeting citizens where they are through technology. We should do the same.

hocoblogs@@@

*updated to correct the year of the Pew report to 2011

What Does School Board Diversity Mean to You?

2012-01-28T16:57:00.003-05:00

Earlier this week, County Executive Ken Ulman wrote a letter to the editor about the makeup of our elected Board of Education. In this letter, Mr. Ulman applauds the participation of a diverse field of candidates for the three open Board seats. He believes the Board "can and must be a reflection of our great county." Does anyone really disagree with that?

The question, in my mind at least, is about the meaning of "reflection". The commission he convened last summer to explore "issues of diversity" on the Board of Education focused on racial and geographic representation, but no other types of diversity.

I've been thinking about this issue a lot, and I've got a lot more thinking to do. One thing in my mind right now, though, is that if your particular issue doesn't have a seat at the table, it usually doesn't get considered when decisions are made. I don't think that's a radical idea; look at how many different stakeholder groups are represented in various policy committees. There is usually a representative from each relevant central office department, as well as a PTA member, employee association representatives, and members of other advocacy groups (Special Education, Gifted & Talented, etc.) On paper, our system at least tries to bring diversity of experience to each table for each decision. (In practice, I believe the entire system - HCPSS and its constituent groups - can do more to include stakeholders.)

Ultimately, though, if the person leading the committee, or if enough members of the Board of Education don't have open enough minds to seek out and understand the input from all of the stakeholders, then underrepresentation is bound to occur.

I'm still not convinced that appointed members of the Board of Education would bring meaningful diversity to this body. It could, but it could just as easily be used to stack the deck in favor of entrenched political interests. I am convinced, however, that an engaged and informed public can bring about a balance of experiences and perspectives on the Board that would be representative of all facets of the community.

Which brings me to my original question: what does school board diversity mean to you? In other words, what do you want in a school board member? I've repeated my thoughts from my previous post, as well as included ideas I've heard from others. What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with any of these qualities? How much or little do you value them?

has worked with children from a wide range of racial, ethnic, and economic backgrounds
has a passion for education; has a vision for the future of education in this county
has experience as an employee of the HCPSS
has a career in the private sector
is smart and reasonable; is a critical thinker
has experience working for other school systems
is principled without being rude, and is kind without pandering; is cooperative
has demonstrated thoughtful, careful deliberation on issues
has experience in capacity planning and budgeting
has experience assessing outcomes to determine if goals were met and evaluating the effectiveness of the various components at play in meeting goals
has children currently in HCPSS
has children formerly in HCPSS
is involved in local political parties
is a PTA member
has expertise in technology and its use in the classroom
is from a particular racial or ethnic group
is from a particular religious tradition
is from a particular economic bracket
is from a particular area of Howard County
is working on a career in elected public service (politics)

Finally, do you vote for the "best candidates" based on their merits, or do you include the way the candidates' qualifications and traits combine with the other sitting Board members? For example, if the four sitting members all have strong backgrounds in education (as a teacher, Board member, or principal), would you be more or less likely to vote for another such candidate? If the sitting members had no children or adult children, would you be more or less likely to vote for a candidate with children currently in the system?

hocoblogs@@@

Exit Card - January 28, 2012

2012-01-28T09:45:00.001-05:00

I learned a few things on the train home from New York with my kids. Lesson one: don't sit near other people's kids. Your kids will want to play like it's recess at school. Lesson two: don't sit at the ends of the car. The fumes will make you sick, especially if you're the kind of person who gets seasick on the dock. Lesson two-A: don't sit in a four-seater with your kids. They will be able to see you, and thus they will forget how to do anything for themselves, like get things from their backpacks, or open food wrappers, or turn book pages.

I learned that the school system has more time to address teachers' concerns about the proposed middle school reforms.

I learned that I don't learn a whole lot when I have a cold. Instead, I just feel like a big 'ol drippy nose. So, that's all I got.

What did you do this week? See, hear or do anything interesting?

hocoblogs@@@

Failure to Communicate

2012-01-27T11:43:00.002-05:00

During the HCEA report to the Board last night, President Paul Lemle began with the observation that there had been a failure to communicate between the employees' union and the school system. He placed the blame for that failure on himself. Then, near the close of the meeting, Board Member Frank Aquino addressed that communication failure, took exception with Mr. Lemle's shouldering of the blame, and suggested that there were communication breakdowns all around. "Remember, Paul, I first heard about this proposal in a phone call from you."

Ann De Lacy, a former president of HCEA and current Board of Education candidate, spoke during the afternoon session's public forum about communication failures. She noted the major imbalance of stakeholder representation on policy committees, which are dominated by central office staff. Ms. De Lacy argued for more representation from teachers, parents, and students on these committees. Failure to adequately involve teachers, parents, and students in planning for a variety of school system policies and programs has resulted in taking adult-centered approaches to things which ought to be child-centered.

Mr. Lemle's and Ms. De Lacy's testimonies tapped into a feeling I've had throughout my observation of the process to reform the Howard County middle school program. Several times during presentations from central office staff on this program, I thought, "Why didn't you say that during the initial proposal presentation?" I learned during the work session that a group of principals began working on reforming the middle school program two years ago. Two years! Dr. Janet Siddiqui said she remembers discussing such reforms since 2007. That's over four years ago! Yet, as a parent who reads the local papers, subscribes to the HCPSS newsletters, and actually watches the Board of Ed meetings, I only heard about this major reform a few months ago.

So, am I looking in the wrong places? Should I be talking to different people? Or should HCPSS do somethings differently in the way they communicate with the public?

hocoblogs@@@

Doing it for the Children

2012-01-26T14:00:00.000-05:00

I got stuck on this paragraph of the Middle School Program of Studies Report:

Currently, middle school schedules vary from one HCPSS middle school to another. All were designed to adhere to the middle school scheduling parameters approved by the Board of Education in 2004. However, some are alternating-day schedules, some involve classes meeting four days out of five, and some have other configurations. Such varying schedules often result in students who move within the county being forced to undergo a period of significant transition, impacting their ability to quickly acclimate to their new school. While this may be a small percentage of students, it is critical that any obstacles to smooth adjustment in the new school are minimized. A standardized schedule with built-in flexibility to address the differing needs of students would allow for smoother transitions for all students.

"While this may be a small percentage of students, it is critical that any obstacles to smooth adjustment in the new school are minimized."

I agree that students experience adjustment challenges when moving from one school to another, and that can be made more difficult by differing schedules between schools. I agree that this situation affects a small percentage of students.

What I find interesting is that the school system department that issued this report values minimizing student distress so much that it will impose uniform bell schedules across the county's middle schools, regardless of how that schedule works with the staffing, physical plant, and academic needs of each particular school, yet another school system department time and again recommends against allowing the system to provide families options for minimizing student distress. What do I mean? I mean that twice already this school year, the Department of Facilities Planning and Management has reported to the Board its recommendation that various forms of open enrollment not be allowed. They recommended against it in stand-alone report requested by the board, and they did it again in a specific implementation of open-enrollment for rising fifth-graders who have been ordered to attend a new school next year due to redistricting.

I've certainly got a bee in my bonnet about this. There are both pros and cons to uniform schedules, of course. I'm not at all arguing that uniform schedules is a bad idea. I am, however, tired of the "it's best for the children" argument being used to justify changes in the school system that don't adequately identify and address the negative consequences TO CHILDREN of those changes. If you watch the Board of Ed meetings, you'll hear more excuses for why we can't do this and why we can't do that, excuses that have precious little to do with what's best for kids and instead are mostly about what's easiest or least disruptive to adults. Typically, those adults aren't even the front-line adults: teachers. Instead, our senior central office staff and many of our Board of Education members protest about the things that will be disruptive to the central office, not the negative things that happen to teachers or students.

There's a Board meeting tonight. The first session starts at 4 p.m. and the second starts at 7:30 p.m. As I understand it, the vote on the middle school program change will be held during the evening session. You can attend in person, or you can watch it on Comcast channel 95, Verizon channel 42, or online.

You may not have children in school yet, or anymore, but I argue that you don't have to have children in school to want to pay attention to our Board of Education. Their budget takes up more than half of the county budget, so if you live or work here, you're invested. Three of the current members are up for reelection this year, too, so watch them to see if they deserve your vote. Paying attention to how our elected officials make and implement policy - now that's something that's good for children.

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These Streets Will Make You Feel Brand New

2012-01-24T16:04:00.000-05:00

We took advantage of the long weekend from school to stay with The Man in NYC while he was there for business. This wasn't our first trip to the Big Apple, so the girls had some memories to enhance their excitement for the trip, but it was the first time Prima and Terza had been on a train, and it was my first time on the train with any of them. I wish I had a microphone recording their cuteness in the car on the way to the station. The girls were so excited they could have levitated all the way to New York! At one point, Seconda said, "I can't wait to go to The Rock and stand on the top!" (I had told them we were going to the Top of the Rock. I guess she had a different image in mind.)

The train was already pretty full when we boarded, so finding four seats together was impossible. In fact, there weren't even two seats together, so I asked some people if they would mind switching. Prima and Seconda sat together with Terza and I three rows back and across the aisle. As I watched the big girls from my seat, I could see the really special bond they have. They were two peas in a pod for so long when they were younger. It really started with Seconda's birth and didn't seem to fade until Prima entered kindergarten four years later. Even Terza's birth didn't interrupt their bond; the dynamic only began to change after she became a fully walking, talking sister.

Seconda & Terza have shared a room for over a year, and they have their own bond. They wore similar outfits on Friday: Ravens jerseys and pink sweaters. But I notice that Seconda really wants Prima when we travel. The connection is mutual, though. It's like they are used to being partners in adventure together, and they are used to Terza being a papoose on my back.

We arrived in Penn Station, took the subway to 42nd Street, and found our way to street level. As soon as we emerged from the stairs, Terza belted out, "WE IN NEW YORRRRT!" (Read that in a deep, four-year-old, show-tuney voice for full effect.)

Exit Card - January 20, 2012

2012-01-20T11:24:00.001-05:00

I learned that unlike national politics (Super PACs? Indefinite detentions? Secret drone wars? Can I have some sand to put my head in, please?), the more I learn about local government and politics, the more I want to learn.

I learned that others in the local blogosphere are participating in the Board of Education election conversation. This is fantastic!

I learned that we are half way through the school year, which means I need to make summer plans. Just like seed catalogs to a gardener, camp brochures to a parent bring a measure of warmth on a cold January day.

I learned that sleep deprivation is a seriously underreported and undertreated health issue. I read that tweet the morning after 2/3 of my children woke me up during the night.

I learned that I am not the only mother who feels like she "can't even carpé fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question." Although, I must say that I came really close to fifteen minutes at the coffee shop this morning with Seconda & Terza as they played with another girl. They talked about the schools they attend, their plans for the weekend, and then they compared NFL jerseys. Seriously. All three of these girls were wearing NFL jerseys. Love that!

What did you learn this week?

hocoblogs@@@

Random Acts of Kindness

2012-01-17T06:50:00.000-05:00

I'm still thinking about that Plato quote I included in my last post - the encouragement to be kind because everyone is battling something.

My family has been on the receiving end of random acts of kindness several times. The most memorable acts have all occurred in restaurants, when our waiter informs us that the bill has been paid by another party. This happens because one of our children is bald. I assume that these kind and generous fellow restaurant patrons assume that our daughter has cancer, is in chemo, and thus we are battling something fierce.

Well, we are battling something fierce, but it's not cancer. Alopecia areata is the name of Seconda's condition, and it's been a fact of our lives for over five years. (Wow, that just took my breath away. My baby girl has been bald for over five years.)

There is no cure for alopecia areata, and it's causes are not very well understood. There was a big breakthrough in the medical research a couple of years ago, but so much more needs to be done.

Seconda's alopecia is something that I hardly think about, until a stare from a stranger or an innocent enough comment from an acquaintance, or even a tweet on Twitter about random acts of kindness reminds me like a punch to the gut that my little girl has no hair.

I felt really undeserving the first time someone picked up our tab. Now, I just pass the kindness on. Last summer, I was out to dinner with my kids and parents, and there was a young couple with a baby, probably about 9 or 10 months old, who just would not stop crying. These parents tried so hard to comfort her, calm her, and nothing worked. I was already in a really bad mood. We were in one of my least favorite restaurants, a waitress dropped and broke a glass directly behind my chair, and the kid behind me banged on her plate with her knife for what seemed like forever while her mother chatted loudly & seemingly obliviously. We were also seated really close to the drink station, and all of these noises combined to make me incredibly sour. Through it all, I noticed that baby kept crying and crying. I happened to glance over there and recognize the fatigue on her parents' faces. I flashed back to my days as a young mother, and I realized that as unhappy as I had been with my dining experience, they had probably been unhappier with theirs. Those parents deserved a break, and all I could think to do was pay for their meal. So, I did.

We shared a waitress, which made it easier. She wanted to hug me, and I let her, but I thought, "Are you serious? I'm really stinking cranky right now! I don't deserve a hug! I didn't enjoy one minute of my meal here. The kid behind me was obnoxious, and that baby cried the whole darn time. The whole time!" Even though I didn't really appreciate the experience at the time, I do now. Random acts of kindness may sound cliché, but they really are a special kind of magic.

Exit Card - January 14, 2012

2012-01-14T06:45:00.000-05:00

I learned that the Denver Broncos are my second favorite football team ever!

I learned that I can love snow that sticks to everything but paved surfaces. Monday's dusting was gorgeous.

I learned that there are a lot of people who have something to say about how the Howard County Public School System is run, and they'd like to say it as a sitting Board of Education member.

I learned that the controversial Oxford Square school site has been accepted. It will hold either an elementary or a middle school, and the controversial aspects of that site have not changed at all.

I learned that the plan to eliminate reading classes in our middle schools would cause major problems to the music and world language programs, not to mention the damage it would inflict on students' literacy development.

I learned, again, that everyone is battling or has battled something, and that most people's battles are invisible to all but the very closest people in their lives. It might be addiction, recovery, mental illness, or cancer. It might be grief, insecurity, or even sleep-deprivation. Whatever it is, it's hard. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato

What did you learn this week? Feel free to share your own exit card in the comments below. Have a great weekend, everyone!

hocoblogs@@@

The Heat Is On

2012-01-12T07:55:00.001-05:00

Did anyone see this coming: 15 candidates for three seats on the Howard County Board of Education? I know we've all been working on our wish lists (right? Right?) for Board candidates, and now we have some talking, watching, listening, and reading to do. The primary isn't until April, so we should pace ourselves, but here are some recommendations to get us started.

I always start with the local news: Explore Howard.

HoCo Rising gives his thoughts on the "heat" of Board of Ed campaigns, and links to the first endorsement of the race.

Watching Board of Education meetings, especially when there is a public hearing, can be very informative. We're in luck because there is a meeting tonight! There are sessions at 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. You can watch them live on Comcast channel 95 and Verizon channel 42. You can also stream them live or on-demand at hcpsstv.com (click on the Board of Ed meetings link in the upper right corner). Or, you can attend in person and testify. Tonight, the board will hold public hearings on the proposed Middle School Program of Studies (ending reading classes, adding more PE and language), as well as policies for naming schools, extra-curricular eligibility requirements, and participation in contests. There are three sitting members of the Board among our 15 candidates, so tonight is a good opportunity to learn about them.

If anyone has a link to any candidate website, please post it in the comments or send me a note at lisabmrss at gmail dot com. Thanks!

Let the campaign begin!

hocoblogs@@@

Middle Schoolers Don't Need No Stinkin' Reading Classes!

2012-01-11T14:16:00.002-05:00

Or do they?

I don't know. According to the school system, reading scores stagnated, then made steady gains after establishing mandatory reading classes for all middle school students. The achievement gap closed to within 10 percentage points in some cases. That's the kind of success officials hold press conferences about and add to their reelection campaign materials. That's the kind of success that Howard County peeps point to when they say we have the best schools in the country. Right? So, naturally, we would want to scrap that whole program. Of course. It only makes sense. (Charlie Brown, don't you know a sarcasm when you hear it?)

Like I said before, my gut instinct is to make sure that for whatever solution is proposed, our identified problem is actually a problem. Admittedly, I haven't done that yet. I am not a middle school teacher. I am not a middle school parent. I'm waiting for those folks to weigh in on this issue before I make up my mind. Hopefully, there will be many perspectives shared at tomorrow's public hearing before the Board of Education. Maybe some of you will be there, or will at least email the Board with your thoughts, concerns and questions?

hocoblogs@@@

Update: Since I don't know how to make hyperlinks in the comments, I'm putting them up here.

Maryland Common Core State Curriculum Frameworks, Reading Informational Text, Grades 6-8
Courtland Milloy's column in The Washington Post

Secret Ending Soup

2012-01-09T20:55:00.001-05:00

I made a kale soup for dinner tonight, which was improvised from a recipe I found here. The Man (my husband with the notoriously discerning palate) enjoyed it quite a bit, and Prima managed to eat it politely. Seconda said, "Thanks for this dinner, anyway." She hated it, took 20 minutes longer than anyone else to finish, and had a completely sour look on her face the entire time. (At least she didn't gag. Thank goodness for small favors.) Terza cried. *sigh* Cooking for my kids is like cooking for cranky Chopped judges.

First, I sauteed 1 onion in olive oil, then added 2 cloves of chopped garlic. Then I dumped in 6 cups of veggie broth and 2 cups of water. I chopped some butternut squash and a whole lot of kale and added it to the soup. I don't measure too often when I cook (hmm.) and I'd just have to guess that I used 1/2 to 3/4 lb. of kale ripped up in small bits. I let that all boil for 10-12 minutes. Then I added two cans of white beans (drained) and five chicken & herb sausages (chopped). Salt, pepper, boil for 10 minutes.

If anyone wants to give me food photo tips, that's ok.

As we ate, we joked about there being secret ending to the soup. I think Prima and I shared visions of a Scooby-Doo style mystery story, but the real secret ending happened when Terza turned around to tell us all, "Guess what? I like the soup!"

Not Your Typical "Ladies Who Lunch"

2012-01-08T08:28:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I attended the League of Women Voters of Howard County's annual Legislative Luncheon. I have recently joined the League, and this was my first event with them. The luncheon featured Howard County's delegation to Annapolis, with each official sharing their agreement or disagreement with the League's positions on a variety of issues, as well as offering their expectations for the upcoming Maryland legislative session. For the local affairs geek in me, I felt like I hit the jackpot having all of these electeds up on one stage together. Plus, it was much more relaxed than the last time I saw this bunch assembled. Senator Robey is a funny guy!

Everyone I met from the League was very welcoming and friendly, and I look forward to more events. The LWV is a nonpartisan group, so people (yep, men too) with a range of political philosophies and policy interests come together to analyze and discuss various issues. It seems like whatever your interests are, from the local to the national levels of every issue imaginable (economics, education, capital punishment, land use, environment, etc.), there is a place for you here. You can check them out on Facebook to keep posted on their events and forums.

hocoblogs@@@

Should Middle School Students Take Reading Classes?

2012-01-05T16:03:00.001-05:00

Reading is a pretty important skill, don't you think. It's arguably the most important thing students learn in school, and learning to read well goes much deeper than learning to decode text. The Howard County Public School System has proposed a change to the middle school program that would eliminate reading classes.

You might ask why the school system would want to do this. Why would they suggest that eliminating stand-alone reading classes is in the best interest of the students? Are Howard County middle school students already masters of reading? Were test score gains minimal since the system implemented these reading classes in the 1990's? The answer to that last question is no, the test score gains were substantial since the current reading program was put in place. (I'm not suggesting that the reading classes caused the test score gains, but the fact that test scores rose during the same time period merits further analysis.)

I'm not sure I can really answer the "why" question, although I know that one of the drivers of this change is Maryland's switch to the Common Core State Standards. . The school system staff certainly tried to address that in its proposal. I recommend you view it on HCPSSTV. Scroll down to the Archived Videos section, and click on the link for the Board of Education - Regular Meeting (Afternoon Session) dated December 8, 2011. A new window should pop up, and clicking on the agenda item titled Middle School Program of Studies will allow you to view just that portion of the meeting.

Or, if you prefer to read the proposal, click here for the report and here for the slide presentation.

My kids are in preschool and elementary school. My last experience in middle school was two months of student teaching over ten years ago. My opinion on this plan is not yet fully formed, but my bias is always toward the concern that when a solution is proposed, it should really address the problem, and that the identified problem should, in fact, actually be a problem.

Are you concerned about these changes to the middle school program? Do you support them? Do you have questions? The Public Hearing is next Thursday, January 12, 2012 at 7:30 p.m. at the Board of Education offices. If you want to let the Board know your thoughts on this, go to testify. (Or email...boe@hcpss.org) The Board will have a work session on this issue on January 19 and then vote on the proposal at the January 26 meeting.

hocoblogs@@@

What Do You Want In a Board of Education Member?

2012-01-02T18:00:00.001-05:00

First of all, Happy New Year! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. We spent ours with family, and it was lively. The girls relished in the variety of gatherings and celebrations throughout December. I love how kids can really soak things in and experience life. Now, it's on to breathing in the calm rhythm of January, and for getting back to "normal" routines.

The Howard County Public School System is in the midst of a search for its next Superintendent. This person will begin work in July. After a recent survey of students, parents, and school staff, the Board came up with a wish list of qualities it wants to see in the next Superintendent.

You and I don't get to pick our next Superintendent, but in November, we do get to pick three of the people responsible for approving the Superintendent's work, for crafting and enforcing school system policies, thus shaping the education of our students. (The HoCo BoE has seven members elected to four year terms, with three elected in presidential election years and four elected in gubernatorial election years.)

Here's my wish list, my voting list, for the next three members of the Board of Education. It's roughly in order of importance.

I would like to vote for a Board of Education candidate who:

has worked with children from a wide range of racial, ethnic, and economic backgrounds
is smart and reasonable; is a critical thinker
has experience working or volunteering in Howard County schools
is principled without being rude, and is kind without pandering; is cooperative
has experience assessing outcomes to determine if goals were met and evaluating the effectiveness of the various components at play in meeting goals

You know, I think that's pretty much it. I will need to have a strong sense of a candidate's values and intellect, and I will need to feel like I can trust the candidate to behave in office accordingly. I find it hard to get that sense from news articles alone, so in the last election I watched the candidate debates hosted by the League of Women Voters. (They aired on local cable and were available on-demand online.) According to this article in the Baltimore Sun, we have only three official candidates, but I've heard of others considering a run.

So, what's on your list? What qualities do you desire in a Board of Education member? Please share your thoughts below. (I love to talk about this stuff!)

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Prima Joins Team Santa, and I Become the Grinch.

2011-12-19T19:21:00.002-05:00

Spoiler Alert: I will address the true nature of Santa Claus in this post.

Last year, Prima had been cracking wise about how gifts from Santa really arrive under our Christmas tree, and I tried to ignore them or brush them off as best as I could. We have never built Santa up into this big whole thing. We set out cookies and milk, we read storybooks, and watch Christmas shows, but Santa is a secondary character who only gives one present per kid in our house. This year, I knew I needed to take preemptive action if I wanted to preserve Santa's magic for Seconda and Terza a bit longer. (And after that last sentence, you may be wondering if there was any Santa magic to preserve anyway, but trust me, there was plenty.)

Among all of the other lovely things I've found on Pinterest, I came across a link to this touching letter from a mother to her daughter. In it, the mother addresses her daughter's questions about the real Santa. I found it a great inspiration in how I would address Prima's attitude this Christmas. Prima and I have a notebook that we pass back and forth, writing and answering questions for each other. So, I thought that this would be the way to focus Prima's thoughts on Santa this year. I wrote a letter much like my inspiration's letter and waited for Prima's response, which was:

"So does being on Team Santa mean I can stay up on Christmas Eve and wrap presents and eat cookies?"

No, Prima, it does not. The next question was...

"So what can I do as a part of Team Santa?"

I told her about being a "secret Santa" and suggested she could do that for her sisters. But the most important thing she can do as a part of Team Santa, I told her, is to be joyful in the days leading up to Christmas, and to have fun with us all as we set out cookies, carrots, and milk on Christmas Eve.

Yet, I'm having trouble being joyful myself. I feel like a Grinch this year. I really looked forward to doing special things each day - singing carols, looking at lights, helping others, making crafts - but when it came to some of the Christmas activities I used to really like, such as decorating the house and wrapping presents, I felt like they were just such a chore. Plus, I really ran out of steam for some of our countdown activities, and some were just plan cancelled due to weather or illness.

I know I'm not the only parent to have conflicted feelings about Santa, and I certainly know I'm not the only one to feel a bit burdened by the "chores" of the Christmas season. But as I've sat here writing this post, in front of my tree and my fire, with only the sounds of my kids reading books and my husband cooking dinner, I realize the Christmas season is not meant to be any one thing throughout the month. There is room for it all - the excitement and the peacefulness, the giving and the gratitude, the Santa and the Grinch.

Happy Holidays to you all! Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I look forward to more in the new year!

Singing the Praises of the Schools

2011-12-08T12:30:00.000-05:00

I've used a lot of words here and elsewhere to describe how the Board of Education and the school system could be doing things better. Now, I'd like to use my words to describe the things I love about Howard County schools. My list is mostly about the elementary school experience, because that's the level my kids attend, and it's also the level in which all of my teaching experience but six weeks of middle school student teaching occurred. I invite you to sing your praises in the comments, especially if you can share what I have to look forward to in middle and high school.

So, in no particular order, I like/love/am excited about:

My kids' school - I love it! They have taken very good care of us as a new family to the school. They have been responsive to my concerns, and I have found it to be a very welcoming environment.
Students have related arts every day, and their technology and media instruction is delivered by specialists. (This doesn't happen in every school system.)
There are instructional assistants at each grade level.
World language instruction is coming to elementary schools! It's in a pilot now in two schools, and I'm excited to hear how it is going and how it will be expanded.
Some schools have computer kiosks (in the lobby, maybe?) for parents to use to check the electronic school newsletters and other messages.
Coffee & Conversation dates held by school administrations and by the Board of Education. These are good opportunities for casual and community conversations with our school leaders.
The county's music program is excellent. So many of our students audition and are selected into All-State music ensembles and other regional groups.
The spring art gallery in The Columbia Mall is a fabulous showcase, and is something I looked forward to every year as a student. Now, I look forward to it as a parent.
Two sets of parent-teacher conferences give me, as a parent, a stronger connection with my children's teachers and a better understanding of their academic progress. A couple of years ago, the February conferences were snowed out and not made up. I didn't really feel a loss, but I am quite grateful that the school system plans for two conferences.
School counselors in the elementary school are a necessary part of the whole school working to educate and care for the whole child.
Flu Mist clinics are a huge convenience for me.
Meetings that teach parents how to have productive conferences with teachers
Child care provided during PTA and other school meetings
The many and varied community service projects

There's so much more to praise. Will you add to this list? What excites you about your school?

hocoblogs@@@

School Choice as an Equity Issue

2011-12-06T15:58:00.000-05:00

The HCPSS Board of Education will hear a staff report on Thursday night about making an exception for rising fifth graders who have been redistricted for next year to remain at their current school. My opinion is that this type of school choice makes great sense and is the just thing to do. The full report is up on the Board's website, but here is a section that really has me thinking:

Any discussion of an exception must include consideration of the issue of equity. Since transportation for students who request reassignment back to their previous school would be by the parent, only the students and parents with the financial means and ability to provide a student’s transportation to the receiving school will be in a position to even request the reassignment back to their past school. Allowing only those students with the ability outlined above could be perceived as a “privilege” extended only to those with the means to provide transportation for the students. Parents who don’t have the time or resources to provide this transportation are likely to express their frustration. They may feel that their lack of choice is an inequity.

This is the very same argument put forth by Sandra French during the November 17th meeting in which the Board approved the redistricting plan. Accusations of elitism were tossed around. There seems to be an assumption in the above quote that only certain kinds of families with certain kinds of transportation options will take advantage of the enrollment exception. I'm not sure that's a good assumption to make, and I'm really not in favor of using that assumption to justify a decision to move students for the fifth grade year.

What about the lack of choice for students in overcrowded schools? Many schools in this county have been overcrowded for some time, and only a few are receiving relief next year through the redistricting process. Isn't that an inequity?

This is a complex problem. What do you think about it? Is this proposed type of open enrollment "elitist"?

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Countdown to Christmas: Activities and Books

2011-12-04T10:09:00.000-05:00

Traditions are what elevate holidays from the everyday, and I love to observe our tried-and-true while also adding new activities to the mix. I observed Christmas as a Catholic for a few years in middle-childhood, but have celebrated the holiday in a secular way ever since. ("Oh Holy Night" continues to be my favorite Christmas carol, by far, though. It's so beautiful.)

On Thursday, I started a Christmas countdown calendar, which I hope will be a lasting tradition in my family. Each day I reveal a surprise activity to the family, and each activity is designed to celebrate some aspect of the holiday season. Love of family, gratitude for life's blessings, generosity and compassion towards others, and appreciation of winter have always formed my personal meaning of Christmas. Our countdown activities honor each of those:

write letters to Santa - make paper snowflakes - attend holiday parties - decorate - play with Grassroots shelter guests - have dinner with friends - see the Symphony of Lights - donate clothes and toys - watch holiday movies - cut down Christmas tree - make gingerbread houses - play Pin the Nose on Rudolph - go star gazing - sing carols - go to Ice! at Gaylord National - take a winter hike - buy and wrap presents for cousins - enjoy hot cocoa - bake cookies

Also, as the girls and I have recently joined a Unitarian Universalist congregation, I wanted to take the opportunity of this season of spiritual observance and reflection to practice and discuss our family's values in a more intentional way. So, in addition to our traditions of giving gifts, decorating a Christmas tree, and gathering with friends, I plan to read a book each day with the girls.

I've chosen books that illustrate each of the seven principles of Unitarian Universalism. You can read more about those principles here, but the kid-version of those principles is:

Each person is important

Be kind in all you do

We're free to learn together

and search for what is true

All people need a voice

Build a fair and peaceful world

We care for Earth's lifeboat

I tried to match up the books with the activities for each day. (I guess that's the teacher in me. Irrepressible, she is.) For example, on Thursday we wrote letters to Santa, and the book for that day was Santa Claus from A to Z. It's a nice, alphabet-style book about the history of Santa and global differences in Christmas celebrations. I think it leads to good discussions about the worth of individual differences and the freedom to search for truth. On Friday, we made paper snowflakes and read Stranger in the Woods, which illustrates the interconnectedness of people and all of nature through the plot of woodland creatures discovering a snowman covered in birdseed, corn cobs, and carrots for them to eat while the kids who built the snowman looked on.

These new traditions of countdown activities and books seems to be a big hit with the kids and a Christmas joy for us all.

An Attempt to Stop This Train and Enjoy the Season

2011-12-01T09:32:00.000-05:00

Ever since my kids entered the school-age phase, I've experienced the months of October through December as a runaway train that crashes into a wall on January 2nd. This year is no different. Every year brings more opportunities for busyness in our lives, and I am not a fast person. I'm just not. I love a slow pace. (And if you've ever seen me run, you'll know I have no choice but to love being slow!)

The fall and winter holidays are my favorite holidays, though, and I like to savor the celebration of each one. It would have been practical for me to set up our outdoor holiday lights over Thanksgiving weekend, what with the 70-degree weather and all, but if it's not December it doesn't feel time for it, to me. The days leading up to Christmas can be a hectic blur, and if I'm not deliberate with my calendar, it can be about a month of commercialism, materialism, and missed opportunities to enjoy family and friends, nature and spirit.

I've seen the type of Advent calendars with the chocolates behind the flaps that I used to get and love as a child. It was a tradition in my house that I adored. However, too many sweets in my house lead to too many sweets in my mouth, and they turn my kids (especially Terza) into a Gimme Monster. All I hear from her is "Can I have a candy?" Then comes the pouty lip. Fun, right?

So, I created a Christmas Countdown calendar for the family this year. SimpleMom was my inspiration, and with similar ideas all over Pinterest, I got all crafty and made something I hope I can reuse for other things throughout the year. We start the countdown today with writing letters to Santa, and we'll continue each day up to Christmas with a different activity. I tried to mix in some never before tried activities like going to Ice! at Gaylord National and cutting down our own tree with our traditional celebrations like baking cookies and decorating the house. The kids don't know what I've planned, so each day will be a surprise.

Quick Tutorial for this Christmas Countdown Calendar:

Find or buy an empty picture frame. This one is 11x14".
Attach four lengths of ribbon/string/twine/picture hanging wire/whatever you like across the back of the frame. I stapled my ribbon, but if it doesn't hold the weight I may add superglue or something like that.
Fold paper bookmarks (I got two sets of 12 at a craft store) in half so that it folds down to open. Decorate the side you'll see before you open it. I used stickers. Terza helped make these - so easy.
Inside, write the activity of the day. You could also write a quote, draw a picture, or name a book to read that day.
Get something to attach the cards to the ribbon. I am using clips from IKEA that I already have for a kids' art wall. You could also use small clothespins (from craft store), maybe paper clips or binder clips, or even punch a hole in the cards and tie them with string to the ribbon.
Store your countdown cards and clips near the calendar, and let the countdown begin!

I'm linking up to Home Stories A to Z, an awesome community sharing tips on all manner of homey goodness!

The Plan Passed

2011-11-22T21:56:00.000-05:00

The southeastern elementary redistricting plan was approved last week. The new attendance area boundaries fix many of the community disconnection issues such as small feeds and islands that would have resulted from the other proposed plans. However, it didn't provide Laurel Woods Elementary, in particular, the lasting capacity relief it needs. When a friend pointed out to me that LWES would be at 110% (109.6% as listed in the report) utilization in 2013, just one year after redistricting, I wanted to scream.

I wanted to scream, "Why would the school system do this incredibly disruptive thing to all of these people if it doesn't solve the problem it is supposed to solve?"

Thankfully, that question was discussed by the Board members Thursday night. To make a long story short, the Board acknowledged that redistricting alone will not and cannot sufficiently relieve the overcrowding in this region. Laurel Woods needs an addition, and the region needs its new elementary school sooner than 2019, likely three to four years sooner. They gave direction to staff about those capital projects. Kudos to Cindy Vaillancourt for focusing the Board's discussions on solving Laurel Woods' overcapacity problem in a lasting way, and to Frank Aquino for suggesting the Laurel Woods building addition.

Open enrollment came back up for discussion, because, thankfully, Brian Meshkin continues to bring it up. This was the part of the meeting when my brain exploded and my heart broke. According to some board members, open enrollment can't work or is bad because:

A school might have a spike in enrollment that lasts only for one year, and think of all the extra books will have to be purchased for just that one year!
A school might have to hire extra staff only to surplus them the following year. (By way of definition, surplus does not mean lay off, only reassign.) Or, a school might have an unexpected last-minute dip in enrollment that results in the loss of staff.
It is elitist to offer open enrollment because, in practice, only families with plenty of financial resources will apply for it because transportation for open-enrolled students is not provided by the school system.
Not a lot of people will use it, so it won't help with capacity so we shouldn't do it, but so many people will use it so it will be a burden to the system so we shouldn't do it.
What about the schools where children are delivered before school is open? Can you imagine that situation if we open enroll or allow redistricted fifth graders to stay?
There will be appeals to denied open enrollment applications, even if we have an iron-clad policy.

Then there's Quincy, and all the other current fourth graders facing redistricting next year for their fifth grade year. I'm pleased that on December 8 the Board will hear a report from staff about phasing in the redistricting to allow those fourth graders to stay at their current school for fifth grade. I look forward to watching.

hocoblogs@@@

School Redistricting is Tons of Fun!

2011-11-16T17:00:00.001-05:00

I tell you, the Howard County Board of Education knows how to have a good time, and bring county residents along for the ride! Why, just last night, a whole bunch of us crowded into the boardroom to chat and laugh and hug and have a great time about school redistricting. It was a blast, and then because the Board likes to party, they stayed until midnight, hootin' and hollerin' the whole time!

Just kidding. Redistricting sucks. Everyone knows it. No one wants to do it, except for when their school is busting at the seams and they need a new one. Even then, there's a fair amount of acrimony between neighbors, because dividing up attendance areas is not easy.

But come on, Howard County. Is this the best you can do? And I'm talking to the whole top tier of county government here. Yes, Mr. Ulman, I mean you. And Mrs. Watson, Mr. Ball, Mrs. Terrasa, Mrs. Sigaty, and Mr. Fox. And all the people elected before you as well as past Boards of Education. Is frequent school redistricting using a piecemeal approach that disrupts children multiple times through the course of their school careers really the best you can do?

There was a lot of passionate and reasonable testimony last night, as well as in last week's public hearing. Many people urged the Board to delay tomorrow's scheduled vote so that other options that might be used instead of or in conjunction with redistricting can be explored and discussed. Opposition to the proposed plans was about more than just "don't move my polygon" type issues. I personally feel frustration that this county seems to have not learned from its history of handling residential growth, and therefore it's makes the bitter pill of redistricting all the more difficult to swallow.

I've been a letter-writing fool this week, posting notes on Facebook and sending emails to the Board, Superintendent and senior school staff. Today, I reached out to our County Executive and Council members. Here's a bit of what I sent them:

Dear County Executive Ulman and Members of the County Council,

My heart is really heavy today, because it seems a dramatic disruption to the lives of roughly 5700 students seems almost certain. While only 1200 of these students were proposed for reassignment to other schools, all students in each of the schools touched by redistricting will be disrupted. As I've stated to the Board of Education, I believe redistricting can be managed well and conducted in ways that minimize the negative impacts on children. I look forward to working within my own school community to help make that happen when we inevitably experience redistricting. However, I am quite concerned that the plan for 2012 southeastern elementary redistricting will not minimize those negative effects.

One of the goals of redistricting as stated by school system staff and Board of Education members is to move the fewest students possible. The practice of achieving that goal in Howard County may have been met on an instance-by-instance basis, but it is falling far short of that goal across the long-term. This is where, I believe, you all come in. Past and present County Executives and Councils have created the crowding situation through both direct action and inaction at least as much as have HCPSS and the BOE. There are problems with APFO, and there are problems with funding capital improvements. The BOE appears to get all the heat on this issue because they are the body making the direct-impact decision of school assignments. However, you all (and your predecessors) deserve substantial heat from the public as well, as you control the zoning decisions and development of this county...

...There is not much time before tomorrow evening's Board of Education meeting. I ask you to urge the BOE to delay their vote on redistricting until the first week of December. There was so much testimony in favor of delaying this redistricting. I believe a widely-held sentiment among the people of this region is that capacity relief is sorely needed no later than 2013 for some schools (Gorman Crossing and Laurel Woods), there are other options that should be discussed and vetted publicly before setting up our region's children for multiple redistricting disruptions over the course of the next few years. If HCPSS continues with their proposed plans as outlined in the feasibility studies and capital improvement plans, we are looking at a 2012 elementary redistricting, a 2015 middle school redistricting, and then a 2018 elementary redistricting. I urge you all to do everything in your power to accelerate the construction of all of the new schools needed along the Route 1 corridor, including moving up that proposed open date in 2018 for a new southeastern elementary school. I also believe it is in the best interest of this county that the practice of frequent small moves to balance capacity be changed to rare, larger-scale moves that the create long-term stability for neighborhoods and communities and the children within in them. If HCPSS were to redistrict both the elementary and middle schools of this region in one year instead of the proposed three year break between them, current third and fourth grade students would only have to deal with redistricting once in their school careers.

I know that most of the current BOE members have had their own children redistricted in the past. Some recognize the disruption to students and school communities that occurs with such changes. I thank them for that recognition. I felt very sad to have heard from two of the members, though, that their children went through it and were fine. I'm glad for them that their children went on to achieve academically and thrive as adults. I don't doubt that is often the case with redistricted students, in part because I am one such "survivor" of redistricting. I also don't doubt the very real negative impacts that many children experience with redistricting, again because of my own experience as a student at a redistricted school. My concern, though, is that it appears the HCPSS and some members of the BOE feel redistricting as historically and presently practiced in Howard County is the best we can do. I reject that notion, and I ask that you do the same.

Please, it is not too late to improve our county's response to the eastern overcrowding. The current redistricting plan should not be a foregone conclusion at this point. I ask again that you urge the members of the BOE to delay their vote until after more public discussion of alternative solutions (such as open enrollment and multi-level concurrent redistricting), not just alternative polygon swaps, can occur.

Good golly, I really hope that on Thursday night, the Board of Ed decides to act in a way that takes into account more of last night's testimony than just the particular polygon tweaks it addressed in the work session. I understand that Gorman Crossing and Laurel Woods need capacity relief no later than 2013, so putting off redistricting until a new school can be built doesn't seem feasible. But there are other options that did not get a fair vetting with public input (open enrollment). I also feel that the issue of multiple redistricting moves in this region across three to six years was hardly given any considered discussion. Please, let's have those discussions!

hocoblogs@@@

Will You Give a Neighbor a Ride?

2011-11-04T14:26:00.001-04:00

Imagine that you need to go somewhere but you don't have a car, and even if you did, you can't drive anyway. In addition, you don't have anyone to drive you, either, because your family and friends are spread out or have busy schedules. Sounds isolating, doesn't it? This is how life is for so many seniors.

Thankfully, there are people who want to help seniors stay connected in their communities. You may have seen those blue and white Neighbor Ride car magnets around Howard County. After noticing them for a couple of years, I finally took the step of finding out more.

So, in May I attended a volunteer orientation with Neighbor Ride. They pair volunteer drivers with Howard County senior citizens needing rides to doctor appointments, hair salons, exercise classes, church services, and more. The seniors pay a small fee based on the distance of the drive, and the arrangements are made through ride coordinators in the Neighbor Ride office.

I go on at least two rides per month, sometimes a few more. Terza is almost always with me, and I accept rides that are convenient for my own errands. On one ride, a client had a class at the community center in Glenwood. I had planned to take the girls to Larriland Farm in between the drop-off and pick-up, but it started to rain. So we went to the County Fair instead, and dashed between the buildings. On another ride, I bought groceries and returned library books in between stops. Since the school year started, I only drive on certain days. The rides have usually been in the afternoon, and Terza often falls asleep. Recently, as we pulled into the garage at home, she stirred and noticed her surroundings. Then she said, "Oh, no! Did I sleep through a Neighbor Ride AGAIN?"

Around the country, our senior population is booming. Neighbor Ride's client roll is growing. If you have a car and some time, I hope you sign up to drive. This organization makes it really easy on the volunteers. You can find out more about at one of the upcoming orientations: Monday, November 7th at 10:00 a.m. or Wednesday, November 16th at 6:00 p.m. (Thanks to Duane at HoCoConnect for the P.S. on his post today, which inspired this post.)

If you don't live in Howard County, you can still help. Communities across the country have programs like this; contacting your city/county/state department of aging/health/senior services might be a good first step.

hocoblogs@@@

A Fall Front Porch and Mantel

2011-11-01T07:00:00.000-04:00

I love holiday home decorating, but I dread the take-down and put away. (Oh my goodness, one year I left all of our Christmas tree decorations in a pile on the futon in the basement for 10 months. That was me hitting bottom, realizing I had a problem.) To combat the problem, I purged my collection and limit my decorations to three or four spaces, instead of giving the holiday treatment to each room.

Fall is my favorite season for its colors, weather, foods, and festivities. I always decorate my mantel and my front porch for the seasons. My porch got a rustic fall wreath, yellow mums, and assorted pumpkins. I set this up in early October, then switch the porch to Halloween, then switch back for November.

These pictures aren't great, but the first shows the kind of summer mantel I like. It has wood, metal, ceramic, and glass in neutral colors. The lemons offer that summery pop of color, and the assorted white plastic goody bags from birthday parties show the laziness and general disarray I experience in late summer. (Look closely; sorry for the bad pic.)

Here's my fall mantel. The candlesticks on the left are from my Grammy. I think she gave them to me in college. I've lived in four places with them, and they're the kind of thing I make the rest of the room's decor work around. I moved the hurricane to the floor and replaced the lemons with river rocks and a vanilla pillar candle. My glass biscotti jar went in its place on the mantel, filled with corks. Finally, I kept the iron votives from summer and added these red bowls filled with decorative seed balls. (That's a link to my friend's store.)

A few weeks later, after I added some pumpkins to the hearth, Seconda added her artistic touch to the hurricane.

I'm linking up to the Tutorials and Tips Party at Home Stories A 2 Z. I looove linky parties for all of the ideas and inspiration. Enjoy!

Homework Time: From Harried to Harmonious

2011-10-25T18:53:00.001-04:00

Homework. Gah. I have yet to meet a family who proclaims their love of homework. If you have multiple children at various ages and stages, you're definitely performing a juggling act during what parents of babies refer to as the "witching hour". (Parents of babies: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but the witching hour continues, it just changes its sound.)

When Prima entered kindergarten, she had a crazy homework situation. I don't really remember the details, (can you say coping skills?) but I do remember it took forever, as in, 45 minutes to over an hour on some nights. In my early teaching days, I was told the rule of thumb is 10 minutes of homework per grade per night, plus 20 minutes of self-selected reading. Prima should have had about 25 minutes of homework, including the reading, during kindergarten. There was much gnashing of teeth and trickling of tears during our family's first year of homework. First grade was much better, though, and really every year since has been reasonable and struggle-free as well.

That is, until, this year. Prima is in third grade with a good deal of homework that she largely manages on her own, now, but needed some help with at the start of the year. Seconda is in first grade, and boy doozy do they have some serious homework now. Her first grade homework is much more than Prima's first grade homework was. Plus, Seconda is very much a beginning reader, so her homework requires a lot of assistance.

Then, there's the matter of Terza. She doesn't like to be left out. If I'm helping one of her sisters with homework, she finds a way to insert herself. Of course, I'm also trying to get dinner ready as well as juggle after school activities and piano practice just at the time of day when I want to take a nap. Despite their snacks and leisurely walk home from the bus, the kids are cranky and hungry. Our first month of homework was not a pleasant time.

Yet, homework does have a good and valid place in a child's education. Not all assignments are great, but not all are worthless, either. The fact is, if your kid gets homework, your family has to deal with it. But, how? I feel like we've got a good handle on homework now, so let me share what works for me.

Find your rhythm as a family. I have found that on days that are free from soccer/Girl Scouts/other commitments, homework is a happier and more efficient time if the kids have played outside for awhile. Snack comes next, and they usually eat while they work. If their activity is close to when they get home, we have a snack before the activity and homework after. If their activity is later in the evening, they play for a short time before homework. I know this rhythm will change each quarter as our activities, seasons, and daylight hours change.
Experiment with the environment. They just spent many hours sitting in a hard chair at a hard desk. The kitchen table, then, may not be the best place for homework. We started the year with snack in the kitchen followed by homework in the dining room, where we have cushioned chairs. That wasn't quite enough of a change for Prima, who took to her room after awhile. Now, I really leave it up to her and she goes where she feels like working.
Engage the younger kid(s) with their own "homework". Workbooks, audiobooks, and computer games work for us. Starfall.com is a fantastic site for preschool and early elementary age kids. We also use educational apps on the iPad.
If the littles finish their "homework" early, they get other work. That means chores. They can help me cook dinner or set the table. They can put away their own laundry or empty the dishwasher. I try to keep everyone doing "work" until everyone is done, which helps when the Homework Grudge rears its ugly head. When everyone is done, everyone can play.
Be on the lookout for inspiration. Seconda's word study homework allows for a choice in how she practices her words. One item on the list is Fingerpaint Spelling. This sounds like lots of fun for Seconda, but a little too intense in the mess-potential department for me to tackle at the "witching hour". So, I poured clear hand soap and purple paint into a zip-close plastic bag. Then, Seconda traced each of her words on the bag. Fun, fast, and clean. Plus, we can save that bag for next week or for Terza's "homework". I'm sure I got the idea from Teach Mama, because she is brilliant like that. She's definitely an inspiration to me.

What works for you at homework time, and what challenges do you still face?

I'm linking up to Home Stories A to Z for Tutorials and Tips Tuesday for even more inspiration. Enjoy!

Noticing My Past Life Lived by Others

2011-10-23T15:45:00.000-04:00

An interesting thing has been happening in my mind lately. I've really been noticing families, and mothers in particular, of young (as in toddler and baby) children. I had kind of forgotten those days until recently, and seeing friends, neighbors, and strangers on the street toting the gear I once toted and holding the parent-child conversations I once held has really brought it back.

Those days were intense. Those days were about meeting the basic bodily needs and physical safety demands of my children. Even when Prima had entered kindergarten and exited that phase, I was in the throes of it with a four-year-old Seconda and 18-month-old Terza. Three years later, our life is very different. The parenting intensity is no longer about keeping these little (young) humans alive and healthy, it's about shaping them into thriving big (old) humans. The phrase that comes to mind about early parenting is, "The days are long but the years are short." Indeed, I found that to be true. Now I'm wondering if the phrase that applies to parenting from kindergarten through high school graduation is, "The days are short but the years are long." It kind of feels that way already, with the days and weeks a whirlwind of school days, homework, sports/dance/music lessons, play dates, holidays, and just event after event after event making those days and weeks blur and whiz and speed by. The intensity of these days comes from teaching manners and friendship skills, answering hard questions about good and bad in the world, instilling a solid work ethic, and allowing each child to be full of the awesomeness that they have within (while giving them as little baggage to take to the therapist's office as possible when they're adults). This intensity is not going to let up, but only increase as we become parents of middle schoolers, then parents of high schoolers. Hence, the years will be long. (I can hardly begin to imagine what parenting adults is like, as I am barely an adult myself.)

So in noticing my past life lived by others, I see what I miss and what I don't miss about that time. I certainly don't miss diaper changes and potty training and nighttime feedings. I do miss having a baby strapped to me or snuggled in a sling. I miss being able to fit all of my kids in my lap. I miss taking naps with my kids. I miss the crazy intense joy of watching them meet a milestone like rolling over, walking, or climbing on the playground for the first time. I hope by noticing these things that I miss about our early years, I'll notice the things the kids do now that I'll miss in the future.

Lettuce Turnip the Beet!

2011-10-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, so this post isn't about lettuce or turnips, but it is about beets and I just love that phrase! In fact, I put it on the cover of my day planner because I am, indeed, that corny. (Corny. Corn-y. Ha!)

Terza and I followed HowChow's suggestion and went to Larriland to pick apples, beets, and pumpkins. I think that girl loves the farm as much as I do. She wondered what kind of animals they had there, and was thrilled to see two farm dogs.

We picked about thirty three pounds of Braeburn apples, and I don't know how many beets. We got our pumpkins from the barn - three pie pumpkins and four assorted pumpkins for the porch.

The pumpkins will keep for awhile, of course, so I attacked the beets first. For flavor, I'd always rather roast veggies than boil them, so that's what we did with the beets. After scrubbing them clean, we wrapped each one in foil and roasted them. Oh my goodness, they smelled so good!

After they cooled, I put removed the foil and put them in a plastic bag in the fridge until I could can them.

This is where I have to thank Aarti Party for showing The Man how to make baked beans with garam masala. I now want to put garam masala on everything! Eggs, black beans, and now pickled beets. I used the pickled beets recipes from the Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving, but substituted garam masala for pickling spice. After peeling and quartering the beets while the canning jars were heating in the water bath, I made the pickling liquid. Oh, again with the smells! I also added cayenne pepper to the mix because I like spice and my kids don't like beets anyway. Win-win.

The beets boiled in the pickling liquid a bit, then into the jars and then into the canner. They process for thirty minutes. I had a few sneaky beets that wouldn't fit into the jars, so I had to eat them. All I can say about that is YUM.

Oh, baby, these are gonna be good.

Then it was on to applesauce. Ok, real quick, here's how it goes. Quarter, core, dump into crockpot (do. not. peel.) Add some water. Add some lemon juice. Use your judgement*. Set on low for about forever (six - eight hours, maybe). Check it now and then to get a whiff of apply-goodness. Add water if you need to. When you're ready, get out your hand blender and whip it into sauce. The peels add color and fiber and let you keep all that time you would have never gotten back had you spent it peeling. The end. Done.

Easy peasy.

*If you plan to can your applesauce, be sure to add the right amount of lemon juice for the amount of apples you have. Sugar is optional, lemon juice is not, and you need to get the ratio right to prevent bacteria. Find an applesauce canning recipe, measure your apples before you toss them in the crockpot, and add lemon juice accordingly.

Oh, and I added garam masala to some of the applesauce. I'm on a roll!

(I'm linking this post to Home Stories A 2 Z and to the food section of HocoBlogs. hocofood@@@)

Halloween Decorating with Kids in Three Easy Steps

2011-10-15T13:15:00.001-04:00

First, enlist their help in carrying your decorations out of storage. Even if you have to unpack some of your bins to let your littles help, it's worth it. They can help carry bins and unused decorations back to storage at the end, too.

Second, give them vinyl window clings and card stock shapes with double-sided tape to stick to your stairs, mirrors, and windows. Allow them their own creativity. I would not have clumped the bats around the jack-o-lantern on the mirror, but I like their decorative expression. After I showed the girls how to attach the tape to the mice and how to peel the clings from their backing, I let them loose. No re-do's behind their backs!

I want to give this one a cape, don't you?

Third, for the areas they can't help with, like setting up lights and hanging wreaths, make sure you've provisioned your materials (sorry, education lingo dies hard) during set up by having the things just you can do in the place where you'll display them, and then get the kids started with the window clings and whatever other decorations and spaces they get to own. While my girls did the stairs and mirrors inside, I set up my porch.

Oh, and I added a black feather wreath to my foyer mirror with the double-sided tape that comes with Command hooks. Just the tape - no hook. Happy Halloween!

I'm linking up to the Tutorials and Tips Party at Home Stories A 2 Z. Go check out all the great ideas!

Support for School Board Reform

2011-10-14T07:48:00.000-04:00

I didn't attend the July community meeting at which County Executive Ulman heard citizens' concerns about the lack of diversity on the school board. When I read that those concerns prompted Mr. Ulman to impanel a Study Commission on the subject, I thought it was just political theater. When I read that Mr. Ulman had said the strife between members of the current school board played a part moving him to take action towards reform, I knew it was just political theater.

I was outraged at the way this all played out. It never, ever seemed to me to be about what the officials were saying it was about. After six years in office, Mr. Ulman is just now speaking about racial diversity issues? Come on.

So I went to the hearing, not sure if I would testify but certain that I wanted to see and hear the proceedings in person. Initially, I was relieved when Del. Turner withdrew the bill the next day. Now, I'm feeling, well, worried that very real experience of disenfranchisement by members of our community will be ignored.

The Sun and the Patch sites didn't cover the support for the bill, in my opinion, as much as they covered the opposition. All along, the conversation should have been about the disenfranchisement. It should have been about the problem this Study Commission was impaneled to solve.

Howard County was the only school system in Maryland to meet the federal Adequate Yearly Progress standard last year. Our school system is excellent. Excellent, but not perfect. Excellent, but not without weaknesses. Excellent, but it is not serving its whole population evenly.

So before we turn our attention elsewhere, let's talk about this issue. I don't really know how to do that, but I'd like to offer some of my notes from the hearing.

Ann DeLacy, the immediate past president of the Howard County Education Association, pointed out the complete absence of diversity in Columbia's governing bodies. All of the Village Managers are white women. There are no minorities on the Columbia Association board. She also pointed to the lack of diversity among General Assembly members' staff.

Leslie Kornreich, a past candidate for Board of Education, supports election by district because she lives in an area of the county that has not been tended to by our school board. The eastern part of the county has major overcrowding issues.

One Ellicott City resident, in speaking in support of the bill, said that the existence of various advocacy groups is proof of the lack of attention to these groups.

A PTA president from Ellicott City said that politicized decisions adversely affect disadvantaged students the most because their parents can't compensate for the school system's inefficiencies. These are students who need great public schools the most. (She was opposed to the bill, but I think this point is important to the discussion of representation within the school system.)

A parent from Columbia supported electing school board members by district because of the lack of attention from the school board, the school system, and the PTA Council of Howard County to the pleas for help from parents at her East Columbia school.

A representative of the Greater Elkridge Community Association opposed the bill, but acknowledged the lack of attention paid to certain communities in the county. He asked why the Study Commission didn't recommend that the Board of Education should work to improve its engagement throughout the county.

A Columbia resident shared a personal experience of racism and a child told her, "Seeing someone who looks like me makes a difference."

Another Columbia resident said, "Howard county hasn't had to deal with diversity in any focused way, but now we can."

Cindy Vaillancourt, a current member of the Board of Education, testified as an individual citizen. She was opposed to the bill, but in her testimony she suggested that "we need to really review what diversity means." She also talked about the feasibility of a low-income resident being able to serve as a board member. (Members work about 25 hours per week on the school board, and are paid $12,000 per year.)

Another parent noted the lack of special education representatives on the commission. (This is another constituency of the school system that has formed an advocacy group to advance their children's achievements and promote awareness of their needs.)

There were at least four or five more speakers in favor of this bill, but their remarks were repetitions of other supporter's statements. I left the hearing with a clear feeling that some people are not being served by our system. Is seeing someone who looks like you in a position of power really the issue? Or is it that the schools in your neighborhood have perpetually lower test scores? What are the problems?

hocoblogs@@@

Howard County Board of Education Election Hearing: Quick Thoughts

2011-10-12T10:50:00.000-04:00

Last night, the Howard County delegation to the General Assembly held a public hearing about proposed legislation that would change the way Howard County voters elect members of the Board of Education. You can read about how this bill came to be proposed here and here.

I attended the hearing and stayed until the very end. It was a late night followed by an early morning, so here are just some quick thoughts. I hope to write a more comprehensive post later this week.

If you want to get blissfully ignorant citizens to sit up and pay attention to local government, propose to change the way they are allowed to vote. Somewhere around 70 people testified to the delegation last night.
Tomi Williams, the current Student Member of the Board, is a superstar in the making. He gave, in my opinion, one of the top five most impressive testimonies of the night. I hope he comes back to Howard County after college and leads something here. In three minutes of testimony, he displayed a degree of intelligence, consideration, and integrity that we need at all levels of power.
Superstar of the Night Award Number Two goes to Alice Giles. I actually stopped taking notes and just wrote "awesome" next to her name because I was transfixed. She was brilliant, articulate, and passionate. She poked holes in many of the public statements made by County Executive Ulman, Delegate Frank Turner, and the Study Commission itself. Then, Senator Robey tried to cut her off.
Speaking of cutting people off, Senator Robey unevenly applied his power as Chair of the hearing to keep people within their time limits. From my seat, I could see the colored lights on the speaker's podium that signaled their time allotment. While I couldn't see their clocks that showed how long they had gone over time, I could see the red lights. Almost everyone went over time, but some went significantly over. Senator Robey did not interrupt all of them. It appeared like politicians were given more leeway than citizens in going over time. Senator Robey was clearly uncomfortable with the whole thing from the start (about two or three speakers in, he snappishly told the audience to stop clapping). Here's an idea - take people out of it and make technology the first line of enforcement. Ring a bell, sound a buzzer, play Oscar Awards wrap-up music, whatever it takes to free up the Chair to listen with more relaxed ears to the substance of the testimony instead of the focused with eyes on the clock.

Finally, I think the most significant testimony of the night came from Ethel Hill. She supports this bill and commended County Executive Ulman for establishing this Commission. Mrs. Hill gave an account of the history of African-Americans on the Board of Education both before and after the citizens voted by referendum to move from an all-appointed to all-elected board in the early 1970's. She detailed the blatant racism she faced when she ran for school board in the late '70's, and reminded us that there was still Klan activity in Howard County at that time. Mrs. Hill wasn't allowed to finish her prepared remarks, but I sure wish she had been. Tomi Williams called this legislation a "Band-Aid for a deep wound." Mrs. Hill's testimony gave me an idea of the depth and nature of that wound, an idea that the thirteen Februaries of my K-12 schooling in Howard County never gave me.

Update: If you want to read more about the support for appointed school board members, click here.

hocoblogs@@@

Perverse Laziness

2011-09-29T06:30:00.000-04:00

I baked a loaf of bread the other day because I felt too lazy to go to the store. Does that make any kind of sense? Let me explain.

First of all, it was cloudy out.

Clouds don't often deter me from shopping, but my allergies were so bad that day. I mean, like really, really bad. This bad, in fact. Plus, I had Terza with me. If I couldn't drag my own sorry self to the store, I certainly didn't have the energy to drag her with me. But, I really needed bread. We used the last of it for school lunches that day, and we needed some for the next day. So, instead of asking The Man to pick up a loaf on the way home (an idea which I am obviously not too ashamed to admit just now occurred to me), I thought I'd just make some here at home.

A couple of points about that thought:

I don't know how to bake bread, like, from scratch. I have a bread machine.
I wasn't entirely sure I still had the bread machine.
I didn't know how to use this bread machine even if I did have it.
If I don't bake bread from scratch and don't use a bread machine, why would there be yeast in the house?

So, by a stroke of serendipity that must be reserved for only the perversely lazy, I did have the bread machine, I did have yeast, and I even had raisins for making the bread fancy. Fancy Raisin Bread would be ours!

You can't tell from this picture, but the crock pot is behind the bread machine. This is also where I process jars of canned food. In short, this is where the magic happens.

Fancy Raisin Bread! It was actually better than edible!

Open Letter to Shonda Rhimes on the Occasion of the Grey's Anatomy Season Premiere

2011-09-23T13:03:00.000-04:00

I love open letters. Don't you? I saw the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy last night and I have some things on my mind.

Dear Ms. Rhimes,

Thank you for this show. It's definitely one of my favorites, even though I really miss George. This episode made me cry at the end. Sandra Oh is brilliant. I've cried that ugly kind of cry before, and in fact, I almost did it last night as she did. So, that part made me cry and the very end with Meredith, Derek, and Zola made me cry. Also, even though I didn't cry, I love what the Chief did. (I'm not big on spoilers, so that's all I'm saying. You know which scenes I'm talking about, so no problem.)

So, the second hour was definitely my favorite. The first hour had me feeling like I had ended up with this show the way I end up with so many of my favorite shows...sucked in despite myself. I do this with shows that start of brilliantly, but by season three or so they lose their shine, they lose their genius, they sometimes even make me embarrassed to admit I still watch them. Why did Grey's give me that feeling? Because you seem to think you are an action flick. You are not, and your blatantly obvious use of a green screen damages my ability to suspend disbelief.

So, do better with the special effects (or don't use them at all, either way) and keep your brilliant cast acting brilliantly together, and I'll love you forever.

Truly,
Lisa

P.S. I don't think you have anything to do with this, but I'd really like to never again see the ad for the new Daniel Craig horror movie. In fact, I'd like to never again see any ad for any horror movie, but I especially don't want to see it during Grey's Anatomy, or during the Ravens game.

Awesome Tomato Sauce

2011-09-17T22:21:00.000-04:00

...or should that be Tomato Awesome Sauce?

Last summer, I happened to shop at the Gorman Farm produce stand after the heat had ripened almost all their tomatoes at once. I scored a big ol' box of Romas and set about cooking. Tomato Jam from The Big Book of Preserving the Harvest was a big hit with The Man and my mom. This summer, my travel plans kind of threw a wrench into the canning groove I had been on. I knew, though, I couldn't let the seasonal close of my local farms pass me by without tomatoes from these farms put up in my cellar.

Today was the day, my friends. Cool fall weather and sprinkling rain meant I'd be inside all day anyway, so a quick morning stop to Gorman Farm was planned. Would they have lots of tomatoes? Yes. Yes, they would.

The lady in front of me said, "What are you going to do with all of those tomatoes?" I said, "Make sauce." She was incredulous. It's a rainy day, I thought, what else you gonna do? (I don't bake. I do crochet, but it's not cold enough yet. )

Y'all know I have a bunch of canning books. I picked the Italian-Style Tomato Sauce recipe from the Ball book today. Good decision. It smelled SO good. Actually, as I stirred the veggies cooking up in a little of the tomato puree, I had a flashback of childhood at my grandparents' house. I suddenly felt myself right back in Nonna and Nonno's green kitchen, with the step-up pantry and the built-in radio.

I wish you could smell this. It's carrot, onion, celery & garlic in tomato puree. It's Love.

But let me back up a bit to the core of making tomato sauce. No matter what kind of Love you put in the sauce, you still have to deal with the tomatoes. Last year, I did the blanch/ice bath/peel bizness that makes people just buy sauce in the store in the first place. I did see HowChow's post about roasting the 'maters first. So I did that, but I only have two baking sheets and I have a great deal of impatience.

Yums. I ate these right off the pan. Thank you, Gorman Farm, for growing the good stuff.

I made a teensy weensy impulse buy at Larriland's a few weeks ago.

Ta Da!

This juicer/food mill/sauce master/whatever-you-want-to-call-it is genius. No peeling! No coring! Just cut those 'maters in quarters, put 'em in the hopper, and crank. Seriously, this made prepping the tomatoes super fast, and the roasted ones went right in the hopper, too. Beautiful.

The sauce stuff goes in one bowl, the peels in another.

Half of that crate made 18 cups of puree. That made 6 pints of sauce, which took a lot longer to cook down to a nice, thick, consistency than the recipe said it would, but then again, the recipe didn't factor in my genius machine.

Sauce!

So, 18 cups of puree gave me, well, I didn't measure it, but a lot of peels and stuff. There's good stuff there, so I loaded it up into the jelly strainer.

Tomato jelly...people eat that, right?

But after blanching & peeling, roasting, and food milling, I'm wondering if any of you has a crock pot method for making sauce for canning. What's your favorite tip for making tomato sauce? And, what do you eat with tomato jelly?

hocoblogs@@@

P.S. I'm editing this post to link up to Home Stories A to Z for the first time. Beth hosts a great Tutorial & Tips Tuesday, so please go check it out!

What's an Alopeciapalooza?

2011-08-22T12:37:00.000-04:00

Our middle daughter, Seconda, was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata at age 2. What began with a small bald spot on the top of her head grew to complete hair loss, including eyebrows and eyelashes, within six months. This is the first post I've ever written about her condition and our family's journey with alopecia.

We just returned from our third Alopeciapalooza. What's an Alopeciapalooza, you ask? It's a weekend of fun, community, nature, adventure, hope, relief, questions, answers, friendships, and memories for children with alopecia areata and their families. It's the annual signature outreach event of the Children's Alopecia Project, and if you or someone you know has a child with alopecia areata, ask them if they've heard of it.

People come to Alopeciapalooza for many reasons. At first, we went for answers. We had stopped medical treatment because after the creams failed, the other options were worse than the disease. The last thing we wanted was to cause her more pain, including emotional pain. If we had fussed and fretted and devoted lots of energy to fruitless treatment, we would have sent our toddler the message that something was wrong with her, that she needed to be fixed. So we went for answers to our questions about wigs, and telling classmates, and dealing with teasing, and what to expect.

I'll always remember when we arrived at the registration table for the first time. Seconda was four years old, had never known herself with hair, and also never seemed to be bothered by her baldness. I assumed she had noticed her difference before, but I couldn't be sure. As we approached the table, which was staffed by some women with alopecia areata, Seconda took off her hat, slowly, and smiled. It was like she recognized herself in these women. She found her tribe. It was beautiful.

So then, we went for community (and a few more answers). I met so many families that year, and Seconda and Prima made friends. (The Man and Terza didn't come.) The new camp format of the weekend (it had been hotel-conference style before) allowed the kids to run and play, make art, go swimming, climb a rock wall, play beach volleyball, and just be kids with kids who look just like them. The kids got community, and in my search for answers to my "How do I send my bald kid to elementary school and have it work out okay?" question, I got community, too.

This year, we went for adventure. It was a nine hour drive to the Y camp in Ohio. After visiting dear old friends in Cincinnati, we made our way to camp. Prima and Seconda stayed in the young girls' bunkhouse with a counselor, while The Man, Terza, and I stayed in a family cabin with two other families. Bunk beds for everybody! Our days were spent with family style meals in the dining hall, kids rotating through camp activities like canoeing, biking, arts & crafts, archery, and zip line while parents went to the breakout sessions discussing age-specific alopecia issues, fundraising ideas, and general questions. We had great keynote speakers, including Miss Delaware 2010 Kayla Martell.

We went for adventure, and boy, did we get it! The girls revealed so much more of themselves to me. The camp staff provided supervision to, from, and during the kids' activities, so the girls made their own choices throughout the weekend. Seconda, in particular, marched to the beat of her own drummer so much that I couldn't help but grin watching her go after her heart's desires. Prima was her typically playful self with the other girls, but became more playful with us as well. And Terza, Terza, Terza. That girl took every opportunity to get on stage in front of people that came her way. I am not joking. When the camp staff entertained us with skits and songs at the campfire Friday night, she was right up there swinging and cooing like a monkey. Then on Saturday night, we had a talent show. All sorts of talents were on display, from handstands to lyrical dance to "Tomorrow" sung by an adorable three-year-old in an Annie dress. Terza raised her hand every time the emcee called "Who's next?", and when her time came, she entertained us with an original song, composed on the spot.

When the cold wind blows...when the jingle bells jing...the blue sky has white clouds...and the rainbows are going out to play... (continues singing while dropping the mic) .... lollipop with ice cream...and it had fruit juice in it.

Prima and Seconda went canoeing for the first time; Terza went rock climbing. They all did the zip line, which required climbing 35 feet up a telephone pole then jumping off a platform to whiz down over a field while hanging from the line. (I didn't watch any of them do it.) They spent hours all-tolled on the jumping pillow, which is like a moon bounce or bouncy castle without walls. They pet a hedgehog and a snake. They let a tarantula crawl on their hands. They went on a night hike.

I had a hard time going to sleep the first night. Things weren't going as expected - too warm and humid in the cabin, too noisy, and there were protests from my child about bedtime. As I cuddled Terza in her bunk, I sighed and knocked my head back, not quite exasperated but not happy either. It was then that I saw a boy in the cabin waving a glowstick gleefully in front of his face. A wave washed over me right then - I am on an adventure, and I get to have it. I'm so glad I did.

It's Not Summer on the Cape Without Ice Cream

2011-08-19T11:03:00.001-04:00

I suppose this is true for any beach town, but since Cape Cod is really my only beach reference, there ya go. On our first night, we went to the Cape Cod Creamery, with their iconic row of blue and yellow chairs lined up in front, facing the main road. The kids inhaled their cones then played some game called "Categories" on the lawn while us grown-ups enjoyed our icy, creamy treats in a more dignified manner.

"Categories", which will forever appear in quotation marks unless someone can really explain this game's point to me, is like a cross between Red Light, Green Light and a couple of other ideas I think my kids totally made up. It begins with two kids on one side, and one on the other, separated by a great distance. They face each other, then the singleton calls out a category. The two others conspire in whispered tones, then turn to the singleton and barely say "OK" without giggling. The singleton then yells words that belong to the previously called-out category. When one of those words matches one of the whispered words, the whisperer who whispered that word races to the singleton's spot. The singleton simultaneously races to the whisperer's spot. They both yell "Goofy" when they arrive, and whomever yells it first, yells it first. There doesn't seem to be any winning or losing, just giggling.

So, if you're ever on the Cape and want to go to an old-time soda shop and ice cream parlor, you want to go to Hallet's. Take a look at it's charm:

It was established in 1889 and has been owned by the same family the whole time. It's been a pharmacy, an unofficial town hall, a general store, and truly a fixture in the town of Yarmouth. Sadly, it was severely damaged by a car a few weeks ago. The driver had fallen asleep and drifted off the road, crashing into the front of Hallet's store. I'm sure they'll reopen, and I hope they recover quickly.

Watermelon Rinds Are Not Just For Composting....

2011-08-17T12:51:00.001-04:00

.....And fancy glass beverage servers are not just for serving drinks.

They make excellent pickling crocks, too. Those, my friends, are watermelon rinds. If you are from or have been to the deep south, you may already know the amazing treat of pickled watermelon rind. They're sweet and cinnamony and nutmegy and yummy. If you like bread-and-butter pickles, try pickled watermelon rind on your next burger or pulled pork sandwich. Y-U-M.

We bought a big whole watermelon, and it took a few days to eat it. As we worked our way through, I peeled and chopped the rinds and stored them in a zip-close baggie in the fridge. When I had all the rind prepared, I soaked them in the salty ice water overnight before cooking them in the yummy spiced syrup.

They don't go in boiling water canner, so you must eat 'em, fridge 'em, or give 'em away. I haven't tried it yet, but I bet they'd make a good ice cream topping. What do you think?

Green Briar Jam Kitchen

2011-08-15T15:49:00.000-04:00

While on vacation on Cape Cod, I found heaven. Well, canning heaven, at least. It's located in Sandwich, and it goes by the name of Green Briar Jam Kitchen. Ida Putnam created the jam kitchen in 1903, and today it's a museum and working kitchen. You can even take jam cooking classes there!

Gas burners and pots in the center of the room.

Fruit prep area

This gives me an idea!

Oh, I so wish we had a working jam kitchen here in Howard County! I would so definitely take a class there, or cook big batches of preserves. You know how some families have a crafter or other type of hobbyist whose hobby takes over the dining room table? My new hobby has taken over my kitchen. It would be great to leave the stovetop free for someone who likes to cook meals (hint: not me) to be able to do so. I can picture it now - drop off the kids at camp, pick loads of fruit at Larriland, eat a yummy lunch, then head to the HoCo Jam Kitchen to put up some jam or salsa or something. That's a perfect summer day, if you ask me.

It has looked like this more often than not this summer.

Perspective

2011-07-24T21:45:00.000-04:00

Burnout is pretty common in our culture. For all the talk of work-life balance, how many of us actually achieve it? Judging by the self-help sections of bookstores and libraries, not to mention the covers of lifestyle magazines, not too many of us feel balanced. We grind, grind, grind, and we eventually burn out.

I did just that earlier this month. I didn't even realize it was happening until I sat on the train to New York a couple of weeks ago. I was headed to a retreat at the Omega Institute, and as the rain poured down on the train, the realization that I was burned out dropped on me like a ton of bricks. Life's been rough these past few months, and I haven't been balancing work and life all that well. I fell into the typical caregiver trap of caring for all around me first and putting myself last. But I never get around to myself, actually.

Anyhoo, I had quite a few "a-ha" moments that weekend, and I'm trying to keep them in mind and not fall into old habits. But what I think I really need, what I think will really help me regain perspective when I've lost my calm is a big metal chicken.

Open Letter to Ken Ulman and the County Council

2011-07-22T12:00:00.001-04:00

Hi there,

A couple of months ago, I tweeted to Mr. Ulman about the heavy traffic in the Columbia Gateway area. I was there during the evening rush, and it struck me as such a waste of time, space, fuel, etc. to have so many cars going through there with only a driver in each car. Mr. Ulman, you said you'd love to see more people take Howard Transit there. I appreciate that you responded and linked to more info, but I'm writing this letter now because that response left me wanting. Because the thing is, if you have a car, you would be silly to take the Howard Transit bus (and that's putting it mildly).

I drive around Columbia a lot, and I'm starting to notice the bus stops. Most aren't covered. Most don't even have a paved surface to stand on - they're just signs stuck in the grass.

View Larger Map

And after Sarah's post linking the horrible situation of a mother convicted of vehicular manslaughter after her child was hit and killed by a car while he was crossing the street with his mother (!!!!) to our own inadequate and, frankly, dangerous bus stops here, I noticed quite a few more stops that deserve attention and improvement.

Mr. Ulman and County Council members, have you ridden the Howard Transit buses? I haven't. I've been thinking about it, though. I wonder what it's like. The thing is, there aren't any stops near my home. Plus, I hardly ever see the buses on the road. I wonder how many Howard County residents don't even know that we have a bus system. What's your experience been?

Every time I drive down Snowden River Parkway, I envision sidewalks and crosswalks, bike lanes, and actual buses actually driving down that road. A lot of attention and talk is on the Downtown Columbia redevelopment, which is all good, but it's a thirty-year project, right? A reworking of the Snowden River corridor (from Broken Land Parkway to at least Tamar Drive, but all the way Route 100 would be best) would be so awesome for the Owen Brown, Oakland Mills, and Long Reach Villages, as well as the huge commercial and retail sections throughout there, and for all the commuters and shoppers and visitors.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Help Others, Help Yourself

2011-07-20T12:34:00.000-04:00

Primary caregivers, be they caring for children or adults, have isolating jobs. They do this work in their homes, where they are on a single-member team. My nearly nine years of stay-at-home parenthood has taught me just how long I can stand being the only adult I talk to without getting twitchy. It's not long, I must say, which is why I'm always looking for opportunities for grown-up conversation.

The staple of the last eight-plus years has been my MOMS Club. There are chapters all over the globe, and they are designed to get stay-at-home moms together with their kids during the day. Each chapter has the same basic offerings, but since they are locally governed, each really has it's own personality and special touches for its own members. From playgroups to cooking clubs to park days, I got so much out of my chapter that giving back by volunteering as a coordinator or Board member was nearly as self-serving as it was altruistic. That's really how it is with donations of time, though. It has to pay you back somehow (money, satisfaction, security, friendship, etc.) or else you feel drained by it.

With my kids growing older and their schedules changing, I'm in the car a lot more. I still need grown-up conversation, though. Earlier this spring, I heard about Neighbor Ride. This organization matches senior citizens needing rides to classes, appointments, or stores with volunteer drivers to pick them up and drop them off. When I applied to be a driver, I thought I'd just get the satisfaction of helping people in exchange for the donation of my time. Boy, did I ever underestimate this experience! I've had just really interesting conversations, and I'm learning about the history of HoCo in the process.

Sometimes, people who want to make a difference in the world feel overwhelmed by the size and scope of the problems that stir them the most. I know I've felt that way. I try to remember this saying when I get bogged down: Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

hocoblogs@@@

Out the Train Window

2011-07-11T13:43:00.000-04:00

No, I didn't fall into my canner. I've been busy with the typical stay-at-home-mom summer break activities: camps, pool, laundry, playdates, heat, holiday get-togethers, family, friends, food, and not enough sleep. Plus, I took a trip this weekend by myself. I'll tell you all about it soon, but for now, here's this.

Things I Didn't Expect to See From the Train Window

rusted metal drums
a man eating lunch on the tailgate of a truck
the bridge near MICA
a candy factory
two herons and a hawk take flight together
an osprey nest on a tall light pole
the Philadelphia Zoo
a white statue of a gladiator-angel-man on horseback
castle ruins
a riverboat
West Point
kayak class
four mops hanging from a chain link fence
the Velocipede Bike Project

Bitten by the Canning Bug

2011-07-01T14:40:00.000-04:00

Did I tell you how hard I've fallen in love with putting up food? My goodness, I think it's serious! It's kind of weird, too, because as much as I like food, I don't really like to cook. I have my things, like salads and breakfast, that I like to prepare. I'm really more of an assembler than a cooker, and good-heavens-no I don't bake. But this canning thing is wonderful!

I also have a teensy, weensy, Amazon habit. I had one good book about preserving food already, but I wanted more recipes. So, I got this one and this one, too, and what is probably the textbook for canning 101.

Last night, I made corn salsa.

Today, I picked purple raspberries from Larriland.

I'm sure my stove will look like this all summer and we'll be eating out every night.

hocoblogs@@@

Jelly Time

2011-06-30T14:32:00.000-04:00

Late last summer, I got into canning. The local produce season has started, and I'm ready to go. Last week, the girls and I went to Larriland Farms to pick cherries and black raspberries. There is something very soothing and meditative about picking fruit, I think. Every time I go to Larriland, I just love it (until one of my cherubs snaps me out of zen-state by screeching "Mama" at the top of her lungs).

We had never picked cherries before, and we all were just taken by the beauty of standing under a tree, looking up into the sun-dappled branches and finding oodles of glowing red fruit. I wish I had taken a picture.

I did take pictures of the process of canning the preserves.

Pitted tart cherries

Washed jelly jars

This pot is for sterilizing the jars, lids, and rings.

Boiling the preserves

Filling the jars

Filled jars of preserves processing in boiling water

I love it when their cute little lids give a cute little POP when the seal forms!

When I passed the jelly aisle in the grocery store today, my heart did a little leap and my face did a big grin because I knew I wouldn't have to buy anything from those shelves for a long time!

The Hits Keep Comin'

2011-06-22T22:13:00.000-04:00

My kids have turned the cuteness factor WAY up this week. I've barely stopped grinning from one super innocently cute saying when I hear another. Here's a sampling:

Seconda and Terza were arguing in their room when Seconda accused Terza of lying. Terza passionately defended herself, swearing, "One time I lied to Prima, and once to Mama, but never to you!"

Prima read a Tomie DePaola book to her sisters, starting with the title page. "DePaola?" Seconda asked incredulously. Prima replied, "Yes, DePaola. It's his last name. You don't hear our last name everywhere, either."

Terza told The Man a bedtime story about the time she went to see a movie at the lake. "Then I saw a light in the sky, and it wasn't a airplane and it wasn't a spaceship. It was a star, and I called it a shooting star that got tired of shooting."

Gifts From My Father

2011-06-19T06:00:00.001-04:00

My father gave me:

my hands and my freckles
my interest in politics
my love of family
my smart mouth
roots in Howard County
a love of Cape Cod
an urge to root for the Red Sox even though I don't like baseball
my first lessons in yelling at bad drivers from the confines of my car
my need to just write
a taste for seafood
fishing lessons
driving lessons
a store of movie/music/television trivia from the 50's and 60's

My father gave me these things and so much more, for which I am so, so grateful! I love you, Pop!

That's Why it's Called "Fishing", Not "Catching"

2011-06-18T13:06:00.000-04:00

The Howard County Conservancy held a fishing class for kids today at Lost Lake in Patapsco State Park, and I took the girls. Prima had been fishing before at summer camp, and I fished a bunch of times as a child with my dad and my uncle. This was a first for Seconda and Terza, though, as well as my first time to this section of the park.

The leader from the Department of Natural Resources gave us all a quick lesson in casting, reeling and fishing pole safety. She then set us off around Lost Lake, which is a stocked pond designated for children, seniors, and the disabled. The girls and I made our way around to a good spot, sidestepping goose poop here and there. No sooner had we spied a spot along the bank than Seconda wiped out on the slight, but slick hill. Tears ensued, and I discovered it's hard to comfort your hurt, embarrassed child while you're trying to prevent four sets of feet from stepping in goose poop and avoid any of the fish hooks from snagging a human.

Once we set up along the bank, though, Prima had it under control. Seconda's first cast sent the hook into her hand. Screaming ensued. A leader from the Conservancy happened by, kindly untangled my child from her snare and set the pole aside. (Thank you!) I began to help Terza while Seconda watched and Prima fished away. There were all manner of distractions during our fishing trip, and we caught nothing. Terza lamented this fact to the DNR leader, who replied, "That's why it's called fishing and not catching." Indeed.

hocoblogs@@@

Everybody Do Your Share - Kids and Chores

2011-06-15T15:26:00.000-04:00

Sarah over at Clover Lane posted her kids' chore list today, and it got me thinking about mine. (She has five kids, ages 3 - 17, and is totally awesome. Go check her out.)

I'm a firm believer in teaching children to do things for themselves and for others. Picking out clothes and getting dressed, for example, are things I've let my kids have almost total control over since they turned two. (If you saw them, you could totally tell they picked out their own clothes, too.) I intervene when clothes are backwards, inside-out, inappropriate for the weather or venue, or just so wildly mismatched that it causes a distraction. Garden variety mismatches get the go-ahead.

Since I have three kids, and they eat all the time (which is why they'll probably surpass me in height before they hit age 11), my kitchen needs a scrub-down five times a day. The table needs to be cleared and wiped, the floor swept, and of course, the dishes need to be washed. Three chores...three kids...problem solved. On a white board, I write the chores (table, dishes, sweep) next to the kids' names. We rotate chores weekly (for the most part), and the system works well. I'm not naming names, but one kid hates all chores, and the other two usually do a little jig when it's their week to do the dishes. Sweeping is no one's favorite.

Not only do these three kids need to eat all the time, they also need to be clothed. I'm thankful that we do not experience multiple wardrobe changes every single day, but we still have a lot of laundry. Laundry is the nemesis of many a homemaker, and I am no different. Goodness, I could really use a Laundry Fairy to fold and put away. I'd settle for just fold service, in fact. (What is it about folding laundry that makes me never, ever, want to do it?) Anyway, we have a system for laundry, but it's not as consistently adhered to as is our kitchen system. In a household of five, we've got a load per week per person, plus sheets and towels. One load a day, that's it. Start the wash before breakfast, switch it after lunch, fold and put away before dinner. Prima loads, Terza switches, Seconda folds and puts away.

It's that last step that fell apart first.

Lately, I've been doing all the steps (except the kids put their own clothes away and if they're not folded or put in the right drawers, so be it). I assigned the jobs the way I did because it worked for their schedules. Seconda doesn't have a lot of homework, and Terza's the only kid home at lunch time, so it seemed like the best division of labor. Yet, it didn't work out that way. With summer break almost here, though, I'd like to get the kids to do more of the laundry again.

So, while I'm thinking about that, I'd love to hear your thoughts and stories about kids and chores. What do you do with your kids? What did you do as a kid yourself?

P.S. We don't give allowances yet. I want to, but I don't want to. It seems like just one more thing to keep track of, and I have no idea how I want to do it. I'm totally over-thinking it, I know. So, take pity on me and tell me what you do for allowances, too.

HoCo Alfresco

2011-06-08T20:10:00.000-04:00

A couple of summers ago, The Man worked out of his New York office and we spent the summer living in Brooklyn. It was a fantastic dream come true, living in New York. (Side note: when I was young and not yet a mother, I was too chicken to live in a big city. Ten years and three kids later, I was both brave and crazy enough to do it. I've missed it ever since and I continue to bring bits of what I love about city living into my HoCo life.)

One of my favorite places to eat in Brooklyn is Cheryl's Global Soul. The food is delicious, and it has this peaceful, charming patio out back, where you dined under treetops. It was just lovely, a little natural oasis in a concrete jungle. Cheryl's is not alone in offering outdoor dining in Brooklyn, of course. Most restaurants have sidewalk seating or folding glass front walls that open up, or both.

Paris, of course, is famous for outdoor seating. The chairs and bistro tables are lined up along the cafe fronts, side-by-side and facing the street, not each other. People watching is paramount. The whole experience is fantastic (save for the smoking; seriously, Paris, you need to quit it).

HoCo has outdoor dining, too. Our "parking lot cafe" scene is growing in quantity and quality. New York J&P's Pizza in Scaggsville added seating and screening plants to their sidewalk. Looney's and Venegas have expanded their patios; Victoria Gastro Pub has renovated theirs to be a three-season offering. One of my favorite restaurant patios is at Great Sage. It's on the corner of the retail strip, surrounded by woods and carefully gardened and decorated to minimize the parking lot view. The Columbia Lakefront restaurants have had outdoor dining for decades. La Palapa, Too and Facci are "parking lot cafes" but they've got nice screening and atmosphere, too.

So, that's a short, off-the-top-of-my-head list. What are your favorite HoCo places for dining alfresco? Which restaurants are on your outdoor dining wish list? I'd especially love to hear about spots in Ellicott City, Elkridge, and western HoCo, since I don't get out there too often. I'd love to have an excuse.

hocoblogs@@@

A True Vacation

2011-06-02T15:02:00.000-04:00

The Man was invited to speak at a conference in Paris, and my parents graciously cared for the girls while I joined him on this trip last week. For me, it was a true vacation, one in which I had none of my daily responsibilities and I was completely the master of my own time. *blissed-out sigh*

I'm so grateful for this trip, for everything that came together to allow it to happen, and even for the time in my life in which it happened. I left the day after Nonna's funeral, while still fighting bronchitis, during a busy time of the school year and a phase in the girls' lives in which they were all feeling especially clingy and weepy. There were many excuses not to go, but no good reasons, and I'm so glad we went.

Now that I'm back, I'm preparing for Nonna's memorial service at her retirement village, still fighting bronchitis, and juggling the busyness of school life with the ever-present draw of the pool. The girls are not so clingy and weepy, though, which is good, because The Man had to turn right around to Europe the day after we returned. My parents are still staying with me, and that's been so welcome! I'm going to go through withdrawal when they leave, but I'll get my fix by visiting them mid-summer, which will be here before any of us knows it. Meanwhile, I'm still blissed-out, not bothered by daily responsibilities or garden-variety mishaps like leaky faucets (yep, got one of those) or bad weather. It would be so nice for this vacation buzz to last.

Arrivederci, Nonna

2011-05-20T15:41:00.000-04:00

My beautiful, wonderful Nonna died this morning. I feel so lucky to have had every minute I did with her, but I do want more. I just want her to say "Oh, Leeza" one more time and then tell me a funny story. Nonna was love, embodied.

Did I tell you the story she told me many, many times, about the day I was born? I am her first grandchild, and I was born in a different state from where she lived. When she got the call from my dad greeting her with a "Hello, Grandma", she took the first flight that morning. She didn't even stop to eat breakfast. On the plane, the flight attendant offered her a beverage. Nonna decided to celebrate the birth of her first grandchild - with a vodka martini. "Why not?" she'd say to me at that point in the story. Then she'd tell me, "When I got off the plane, I was..." and she'd make this face that said she was tipsy. Then she'd say, "You, Leeza, did that. Never forget."

I won't, Nonna. And tonight, I may just toast you out the way you toasted me in.

Cars & Bikes, Ulman & LaHood, Paris & HoCo

2011-05-13T16:42:00.000-04:00

There are places in this county where, if you're there during rush hour, you'll notice a whole lot of cars transporting only a driver and no passengers. You might think to yourself, "what a waste...of space on the road and in parking lots, of gas, of time sitting through multiple cycles of one light." This happened to me recently in the Columbia Gateway area, and I tweeted to County Executive Ken Ulman about it. He responded pretty much right away, with a link to Howard Commuter Solutions. Check it out, especially if you live or work in Columbia, Laurel, or the Route 1 corridor.

A few days before this, The Man told me about the bikes they have in Paris. There are over a thousand bike rental kiosks around Paris, and for a small fee you can rent the bike for 30 minutes then return it to any kiosk. There are subscription plans, too. Read this overview for more details.

Earlier this week, Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood discussed bicycle safety and the importance of bicycling as transportation. Then he wrote this piece about getting people to their workplaces.

Finally, Sarah wrote a great post about political will, leadership, and lip service when it comes to transportation issues. It was eaten by Blogger's breakdown. I hope it comes back up, and that she'll continue to post about it.

Obviously, the Town Center redevelopment is one area of the county to work on cleaner, more efficient transit than our current one-person-per-car set-up. But East Columbia is another really important (possibly more important) place to update. The Columbia Gateway loop houses so many employees, the Snowden River Parkway corridor has so many places for employees to dine, shop, and take care of business, and the villages of Owen Brown and Long Reach hold the closest residential areas. I'd love to see more mass transit and clean transit things worked out there.

hocoblogs@@@

How Can I Be at a Loss for Words When They Keep Flooding In?

2011-05-03T12:51:00.000-04:00

I feel like saying something. I feel like saying a lot of things, and yet I feel like I'm at a loss for words. My head is both spinning and still, my heart is both heavy and light.

The death of Osama Bin Laden has rocked my world.

But it's not just that. I guess there's just been a lot going on in my world, in my daily life, in my head and heart, and I thought I had a handle on it all. I knew why I was sad about my grandmother and happy about my neighborhood, and worried about my kids and excited about my business. I could convert feelings to words with ease and speed. Now, I have a lot of feelings for which I do not have words.

Also, I like to have the right words, and what are the right words right now?

Some of the right words have found their way out. Last night, while putting the kids to bed, The Man asked me what was wrong. I told him I was just so sad. He asked me why, and "I'm sad about Osama Bin Laden" just came out. Yes, I'm sad he died, because I'm sad he lived the way he did, doing the things he did, hurting the people he did, and leaving us no choice but to do what we did.

Now, I'm stuck for words again.

I'm stuck, I think, because I like questioning words to be followed by answering words, and the questioning words are flooding my brain but the sandbag-like answering words are nowhere to be found. They're not here to contain the flood.

Where Did April Go?

2011-04-28T15:25:00.000-04:00

This month has been a blur, with lots of personal stuff going on. My grandmother is sick again, and she just doesn't want to go on anymore. A friend's husband died suddenly. Spring Break happened. Also, and I'm not naming names, but my sleep has been disrupted by so much snoring in this house that even the meditation music in the spa lounge sounded like snoring to me.

(As an aside, my kids have all slept through the night for years, so why can't I? Why can't I go back to the deep, sound sleep of my pre-parenting days? Every little sound or light jars me awake. Gah.)

Let's see...what else....

Oh, yeah...Terza. That girl is so funny and cute, except for when she's being so stubborn and pouty. It's been a pouty, whining month with her. Terza's kind of giving up her afternoon nap, which is a bad idea, if you ask me. I'm working on it. There've been some real highlights, though. Like the time Prima congratulated Terza on chewing with her mouth closed.

"You have such good manners!" Prima squealed encouragingly.

"That's 'cuz I a GENIUS!" Terza replied.

It's SO Easy Being Green - A List

2011-04-01T15:48:00.000-04:00

It's Earth Month and Howard County kicks it off tomorrow with GreenFest 2011. I hope to go, but in the meantime I'm thinking about ways I've tried "being green" and wondering what worked and what didn't, and why. I'm a list person, so here you go:

Go cloth: napkins, paper towels, diapers. We still use cloth napkins and towels, but thankfully our diaper days are over. Cloth diapers were surprisingly easy, until they weren't and I went back to disposable.
CFLs. We definitely go through light bulbs less frequently with compact fluorescent bulbs, but I don't really know if we're saving electricity. Honestly, I'm just taking everyone's word for it.
Turn off the lights! I've become like my father, hounding my kids to turn off the lights when they leave a room.
Go clean: sprays and scrubs. Synthetic chemical cleaners have always given me headaches and respiratory issues. When I first became a mother, I felt paranoid about babies and toddlers getting into household poisons. I thought, let's just not have them in the house. I read Clean House Clean Planet and Home Safe Home and changed out my poisons for non-toxic cleaners. All I can say is club soda rules! Vinegar and baking soda rock, too. Bonus: now that my kids are older, they can clean with this stuff, too!
Program the thermostat. I turn the heat down low when we're not home, and turn it off whenever I can. I also enrolled in Peak Rewards, which gave us a nice little rebate on our summer bill, and they only cycled us off twice last summer.
Buy locally grown food. Here in the HoCo, it's so easy to do that. We're an agricultural county in an agricultural state. I love South Mountain Creamery for meat and dairy delivered to my door. I love Gorman Produce Farm and Larriland Farm for produce. I love the Olney Farmers Market for interesting locally sourced and produced foods (check out Small Comforts Bakeshop when the market reopens next month).
Drive less. I try to consolidate trips. I try to carpool. I try to walk to places. (Actually, being able to walk to restaurants and shopping was a deal-maker/breaker when we looked at new homes. In the warmer months, I walk a lot more.)
Be a bag lady. Finally! All those give-away tote bags that I could never part with have a use! I keep a stash in my car and am pretty mindful about bringing them with me into the store - all stores.
Reduce, reuse, recycle. Recycling is the easiest one, and I love that we don't have to sort our stuff! I think our household recycling volume is greater than our trash volume. My reusing style is to give stuff away for other people to reuse. I'm going to have to think about the "reduce" part some more.

These are little bits, tokens, gestures, but I think they add up to a less wasteful, more sustainable life. I've certainly got a lot of room to improve, and I plan to do that.

What's on your list? How are you being green? I'd love to read your ideas in the comments.

hocoblogs@@@

Guaranteed to Make Me Smile

2011-03-28T14:42:00.001-04:00

What's guaranteed to make you smile? For me, it's watching my kids draw.

Terza and I went on a nature walk this morning to take photos of the earliest spring flowers. We didn't get far, though, just four houses up the street. Too cold. She decided it would be better to draw in front of the fire.

Just the sight of these colored pencils and drawing paper makes me smile. They're kind of inviting, don't you think? Sit down and doodle. Maybe copy a pic from a magazine. Go wild with your imagination. If I leave these here for Prima and Seconda to see, they'll run right over and dive in. There's something irresistible about freshly sharpened colored pencils. I better get out more paper. *smile*

Healing

2011-03-24T10:26:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I fell ill with the most vicious case of strep throat I have ever had. Not only was my throat sore and swollen nearly shut, a fever raged and my bones felt like they were being stabbed with a knife. I can't remember ever being sicker, and I can't remember antibiotics ever taking so long to bring relief. I'm not yet healed, but I am healing, and I am thankful.

I am thankful for whatever part of my brain decided to call the doctor Tuesday morning even though most of my brain was convinced I just had the flu and modern medicine couldn't help me. As it turns out, if I did have the flu there were medications available that would shorten the illness. That just shows to go you that most of my brain isn't always right. ;-)

I am thankful for my husband and my neighbor for taking my kids to and from the bus stop. I am thankful for a previously arranged playdate that involved no driving on my part and one less child in my house to manage on my sickest day. I am thankful for my sister who came over to bathe and tuck in my kids.

I am thankful for Edie for reintroducing me to the healing music of Mumford and Sons. When I first saw and heard Mumford and Sons perform on the Grammys this year, I thought they were, well, interesting. They sound like Dave Matthews Band doing the Cold Mountain soundtrack. There's so much feeling in their music, and I find music like that, music with feeling, always heals a little part of me. I feel like they've been somewhere, and they've been through something, and they paid attention, and they're brave enough to lay it bare for others.

Life can be death by a thousand cuts, or it can be growth through a thousand cuts, but make no mistake that we are cut. For me, music is one of the fastest-acting and longest-lasting means of healing, and of growth.

Libya on the 8s

2011-03-21T15:31:00.000-04:00

When I was eight years old, President Reagan ordered air strikes on Libya in retaliation for a nightclub bombing in Germany that killed American soldiers. I remember standing in the living room, watching the TV when the anchor broke the news. I jumped and yelled out "Yes!" joyfully because we (the good USA) had been powerful over the "bad guys". My parents immediately yelled out "No!" and then explained to me how this bombing had hurt people, and that war, even a justified war, is never a happy occasion.

My parents were visiting me this week when the U.S. launched missiles into Libya again. My daughter, Prima, is eight years old. (I'm glad she didn't do a foolish fist-pump like I did when I was her age.) These air strikes took place on the eight anniversary of the start of the Iraq War; Prima was just five months old then.

I'm trying to limit how much exposure my kids get to the news, especially following on the heels of the triple-disaster in Japan. Frankly, I want to limit my own exposure to the news! Yet, I can't stop thinking about it all.

Thinking, wondering, hoping, praying.

Ending Homelessness in Howard County

2011-03-18T14:52:00.001-04:00

HoCoRising has a plan, a plan for good. Harnessing the power of community, he's asking for small donations to the Grassroots Crisis Center. Please go read his blog, check out the project's CrowdRise page, and consider your part in all of this. Then do it, whatever it is you feel you can offer.

All people deserve housing, and all people deserve a community that cares about its members, even & especially its less visible members. This is fundraising project is just the start.

hocoblogs@@@

Exaggerated Joys of Parenthood

2011-03-10T21:11:00.000-05:00

Time Magazine asks why parents exaggerate the joys of parenthood.

Since I'm riding the high of one of those joys right now, I can tell you that I don't think we do exaggerate.

I get how it can sound exaggerated, especially to people without children. I'm experiencing a joy right now so great that I hardly have the words for it. What brought about this feeling of joy, you ask? Prima and Seconda just had their stage debut in their elementary school drama club production of "The Jungle Book".

That's right. A school play performed by kindergarten through second graders has me grinning from ear to ear and wishing to yell from the rooftops that my kids are awesome and adorable. (Thank goodness for blogs. They're much safer than rooftops.) All the kids were adorable, but I'm so darn proud of my kids because I know them the best. I know that I told them to "go practice your lines," but I didn't check that they did it. I know that they had three rehearsals canceled due to snow. I know that two adults working with 20-some 5-8 year olds after school have a lot of moving parts to deal with. I know that my second-grader, Prima, did this herself. When she performed her scenes, I felt how much she enjoyed it and saw instantly how much she must have worked on it herself. I know that my kindergartner, Seconda, is delightfully engaged except for when she's delightfully in La-la Land. She performed her small group number well, delivered her punch line with good timing, then scratched her face while daydreaming in an ensemble number.

I read the article and I disagree with it. I'm not a scientist, but it seems like their sample sizes were small. I don't know if that matters here. Also, I'm not impressed by the author of the article, who was clearly not a parent. My joy bubble has also popped since I started this post by the apples of my eye who just decided to pick a fight with each other, so I think this entire paragraph may not make much sense.

But back to this joy thing. Have you ever been so happy about something you just had to gush about it? Have you ever been so irritated or frustrated or stressed that you just wanted to get away? How often do those two types of feeling happen to you in one week, or one day, even? My assumption is that these highs and lows cycle much more frequently and with greater intensity for parents than for non-parents. I also assume that the highs, in particular, are more intense for parents, which leads others to think they're exaggerating. Am I delusional?

Speed Cameras and Stephen Covey

2011-03-09T17:51:00.001-05:00

From second through fifth grades, I was a Girl Scout. Girl Scouts promise to help others and make the world a better place. We recited our promise at the opening and closing of our gatherings, and we worked to embody our principles in every experience. It's a very intentional program, and it really shaped the worldview and set of values I have today.

Howard County has recently proposed speed cameras in school zones, following in the footsteps of neighboring counties. Local bloggers HoCoRising, Sarah Says, and HoCoPolitico have good posts about the subject. (I love these types of blog discussions; they serve to make our world a better place.)

I don't know that there's really a big camp of people who are all "Woo hoo! Yay for speed cameras! More speed cameras, please!" There are certainly a bunch who are very much against them. It's almost a visceral reaction, and I think it stems from that natural wish to avoid being "caught". People don't speed because they delight in breaking the law. They speed because they feel safe doing so (safe from harm to body and vehicle), the law (speed limit) seems arbitrarily low, and because we're generally in a go-go-go mindset. (Patience is not a collectively-held virtue.) Also, they speed because they know the odds of getting caught are low. Take a look at any road where there are predictable speed traps: regular travelers know to slow down before the trap. Speed cameras change the odds and there's no way for drivers to tip the odds back in their comfort zone.

Psychology plays a huge role in all this. (Did you read Sarah's post?) Stephen Covey (leadership and personal improvement author) is writing a new book about crime. In a Facebook post today, he described its basis being the practice of law enforcement catching people being good versus bad. What if the speed cameras were used to reward people who didn't speed, as well as fine people who did?

The speed camera proposal is not just a money grab. It is an approach to changing people's behavior. Stephen Covey describes a third alternative to how we approach institutionally-driven behavior changes. I'm interested in how this all plays out here in Howard County.

Update: I just came across Columbia Compass's post on speed cameras. It's a good read and an interesting take on applying The Fun Theory. Good stuff!

hocoblogs@@@

Just a Mother

2011-03-08T15:27:00.000-05:00

My elementary school had Career Day once a year. I loved this day because, in addition to being a break from the regular school routine, it exposed me to the world of grown-ups. I always wanted to be a grown-up, from as early as I can remember. Yet, I never could decide what kind of grown-up I wanted to be. One year, I wanted to be a lawyer. One year, I wanted to be a marine biologist. One year, I wanted to be a flight attendant, but that dream was shattered before the end of that Career Day when I learned you had to be kind of tall to be a flight attendant. Tall is something I knew I was never going to be. I wanted to be a teacher, and an artist, and a doctor, and a nurse, and so many other things under the sun. But the one job I always wanted, the one thing I always wanted to be when I grew up, the one title I always wanted to have was Mother.

Sarah's blog inspires me. She has five children, and since a couple of hers are around the same ages as a couple of mine, I feel a kinship. Today, she wrote some questions for mothers to ask themselves, and after reading them and the comments that followed, I must admit that I feel like I'm missing something.

What does it mean to be "just a mother"?

What are the things that "clutter your life"?

What are the things that pull you away from just spending time with your kids?

There were some mentions of school fundraising and volunteer activities, after-school sports and other extra-curriculars, play dates and play groups, and even paying work and blogs as examples of the things that clutter a life and pull you away. Certainly, any and all of these have the potential to clutter and pull.

Yet, they also have the potential to enrich and fulfill. Terza thrives when she gets 11-12 hours of sleep at night plus a 2-3 hour afternoon nap. She loves a slow pace. Prima never needed or wanted that much sleep, and she has always thrived in a fast-paced, activity-filled day with lots of interactions with lots of people. I picture her as a mother with a calendar full of activities and gatherings and commitments. Should she be told that it's okay to be "just a mother"?

Something about that phrase rubs me the wrong way. I think the core message in Sarah's post is that it's okay to "just be yourself". Just be yourself. I don't think it matters if you are a mother or a father, a breadwinner or a bread baker. If you're spending your time in a way that feels wrong to you but seems like it is what you should do, ask yourself why? Why do you feel you should do it? Why does it feel wrong? If you could just be yourself, how would you be?

Someone is Wrong on the Internet

2011-03-06T16:36:00.000-05:00

I'm having one of these moments right now:

Also, I want to ramble on and on about all the ways this person is wrong on the Internet, but my children are disturbing my calm and Chopped Champions is competing for my attention.

What Makes a Great Place?

2011-03-02T22:34:00.000-05:00

A great place is really something, isn't it? I've read about a few local changes that have made me appreciate the great places in my life all the more.

First, I read that some of Columbia's tot lots* are scheduled to be removed. Columbia Association, through the Village boards, is engaging village residents in the planning of new uses for these spaces.

Then, I read commentary on concerns about changes to historic Main Street in Ellicott City, as well as a proposed redevelopment of a nearby housing complex and recreation center.

What makes a great place? For me, walkability is key. I love being able to walk to neighbors, to parks, to community facilities, to restaurants and shops, and to nowhere in particular, and to do so safely with any number of my children in tow.

A great place also has a shared sense of responsibility and ownership among it's visitors, like a restaurant with regular patrons who tell everyone they meet, "You have to try the __." It's that feeling that you want the place to thrive and endure, not just because it's great for you, but because this place is a gift that deserves to be shared.

What are your great places in Howard County and beyond?

hocoblogs@@@

It Made a Difference to That One

2011-03-01T18:45:00.000-05:00

Loren Eiseley wrote The Star Thrower, and it has been adapted many times. A man walks along a beach and spots a child throwing starfish into the ocean. He asks the child why he does this. The child responds that it is to save the starfishes' lives. The man remarks that there are miles and miles of beach covered in starfish, and the child can't really make a difference, so why bother? The child responds after throwing another starfish into the water, "Well, it made a difference to that one."

I heard this story on the radio today as part of a segment on the atrocities women and girls experience around the world. The problems are so huge and widespread, so horrendous and infuriating. This can be said of problems in the economy, of wars, of poverty and hunger and corruption and environmental disasters.

I've had a coming-of-age since Terza, my last child, was born. A lot of things I thought I understood about life, the world, and everything were not what I thought at all. Those realizations were incredibly painful. The more I learned about history and politics, business and education, people I know and humankind in general, the more I wished I didn't know. I wished I could be blissfully ignorant again. I wallowed. I despaired. I spent some time feeling like it was impossible to go on like everything was okay when there were clearly so many things that were definitely not okay.

Then, I read One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp. She wrote, "Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering does not rescue the suffering."

No, no it does not.

I've had another coming-of-age since reading One Thousand Gifts - there has always been and always will be pain and suffering and problems larger than life. But I can embrace joy in my life, and that may sometimes rescue the suffering. A bouquet of flowers, a friendly smile, or a listening ear may not uplift a her from poverty or cure his cancer except for a few moments of joy experienced. A parent's knowledgeable, compassionate answer to an uninhibited, curious child questioning, "Why does that man have one leg?" or "Why does that girl have no hair?" will not heal their bodies, but will strengthen their hearts. The one we love, the one we know, the one we live near... it will make a difference to that one.

Putting today's coffee money in the mail to the American Red Cross will not put all of Katrina's victims back on their feet, nor will it find a cure for diabetes, but it will be something. It will make a difference to the researcher who gets the grant because the fundraising total was met. It will make a difference to the one more family that gets a meal that the food bank didn't think it could provide fore. It will make a difference to the neighbor who is raising money and awareness about a loved one's affliction by walking for three days or donating proceeds from a sale or competing in a race.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. It will make a difference to that one.

Signs of Creative Genius

2011-02-24T21:06:00.000-05:00

Over the last few days, I've come across...

dried stems gathered from wintering pansies, assembled birds' nest style under the corner of a bed

small cup of water, tucked deliberately behind the toilet, surrounded by blue trinkets (pieces of silly bandz, perhaps?)

cups, bowls, and plates stacked like Jenga tower inside the kitchen cabinet

I can't stop smiling about these little discoveries because the world of the mind from which they emerged must be such an interesting place!

Snow Days, School Days, Half Days, Whole Days

2011-02-22T09:01:00.001-05:00

My dad tells a story of a time when my grandmother went over to my great-aunt's house. My grandmother was a pretty quiet lady, and my great-aunt was not. :-) My great-aunt was talking to my grandmother when my great-uncle came in. Something happened, then my great-aunt turned to my grandmother, gently placing a hand on my grandmother's arm and said, "Honey, I'm going to yell at him now."

Honey, I'm going to yell now. (Well, maybe not yell so much as rant in a cranky way. You get the point.)

For the love of Pete can we please get these kids in school! Honestly. Sometimes I wonder if the HoCo schools calender is created to maximize vacation opportunities versus learning opportunities. Goodness, the kids get a lot of half days leading up to three- and four-day weekends, and then snow extends them even more.

I do love a good snow day. I really do. Snow is beautiful and magical and unpredictable. It's makes us slow down and marvel. However, our school calendar seems in complete denial about the weather realities of our county.

*breath taken*

Last week, the elementary & middle school schedule was as follows, to allow for parent-teacher conferences: Monday - full day, Tuesday - full day, Wednesday - half day, Thursday - half day, Friday - closed for students. As a parent, I love having conferences twice a year. I think parent-teacher communications are vital and face-to-face opportunities create a partnership and relationship that is critical to student success. Not all school districts conduct conferences twice a year, and I really appreciate that HCPSS does. However, given that winter weather disrupts school schedules every year and that the mandated standardized testing in the elementary and middle schools occurs in March and April, I recommend moving the second round of conferences to the end of third quarter.

I'd also like to know why the conference schedule needs to be two half-days followed by a day off. Many, many teachers conduct all of their conferences on the two half-days, staying late into the evening to accommodate parent schedules. Then, they have a paid day off on the third day.

I find half days to be incredibly disruptive, so I would like to see schools close for students for two whole days during parent-teacher conferences. Pros and cons, anyone?

Just as a side note, I'm also pretty cranky that my children watched two Toy Story movies during school last week, in addition to missing instructional time on Monday for Valentine's Day. I'm more than cranky, I'm really disappointed and don't know what to do about it.

hocoblogs@@@

Some of the things I love this Thursday...

2011-02-10T14:19:00.000-05:00

Richard Engel
my hair stylist
arugula
Terza's word for marshmallows is "smushmallows"
blue sky
warm slippers
cooking in the crockpot

Post-holiday slump

2011-02-09T13:02:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving comes around and ushers in a season of entertaining and being entertained, of cooking and dining, of giving and receiving, of coming and going. Then we welcome in a new year, and it takes me awhile to feel back to normal, to get into the typical rhythm of school days and weekends, of meals and chores and treks to the bus stop. This year, it took me about a month to get there, thanks in part to Old Man Winter and his effect on school schedules.

I hope to be back here soon with more to share.

Magical Friendships

2010-11-06T13:43:00.000-04:00

My favorite novel from childhood is Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Patterson. It is about the friendship between a boy and girl in rural Virginia. Jesse starts fifth grade as a social outcast, the only boy in a family of girls. Leslie is the new girl in school, moving to Jesse's neighborhood right before school starts. The fictional world Jesse and Leslie create in the woods near their houses is magical and fantastic, and it serves to dissolve Jesse's anger and sadness. (The novel ends tragically, though, and I still tear up when I read that part.)

As a teacher, I loved teaching this novel to my fifth graders. Patterson uses really rich imagery that brings me right back to my childhood days playing in the woods with my friends, exploring the river near our house. I remember some students reacting to this book like I did, relating to the experience of magical forest adventures. For other students, Bridge to Terabithia opened their minds to a new type of playing, as well as helped them understand that different kids have different home lives, and those home experiences shape their moods and behaviors in school.

Yesterday, Prima had a playdate with Cara, a friend from her old school who is probably her best friend. On the way home from Cara's house, Prima suddenly exploded with a story about the stream in Cara's backyard that led to a little pond. In the middle of the pond was a large rock, and together they put logs across to form bridges to their island. Prima's voice oozed and sparkled with the enthusiasm of a magical adventure, and I was struck again by how special her friendship with Cara is.

(And it goes without saying that although this moment in their friendship reminded me of that special friendship between Jesse and Leslie in Bridge to Terabithia, I do not hope their experiences mirror the tragic end of the book.)

Doing My Civic Duty

2010-11-02T21:42:00.000-04:00

I grew up in a politically-attentive family. My parents watched and read the news daily, and they always voted on election day. I never went with them (to my recollection), but I always knew they had voted.

Out of necessity, I have had a child (or two or three) in tow while voting each of the last eight years. They sat on the side as I cast my ballot, then picked up their sticker and off we went. This year, they helped me work on behalf of a candidate in whom I strongly believe has the right stuff to serve on our local Board of Education. We waved signs and passed out fliers to incoming voters. One man came up to me after voting and said he voted for my candidate simply because of this flier. He hadn't been paying attention to the Board of Ed race, and was moved to vote by our interaction.

Wow.

I am not that kind of voter. I read and research during pretty much the whole cycle from candidate filings before the primary and all through the big push to General Election Day. Signs, people waving, and fliers passed out in front of the polling place do not influence my vote. I knew that some people vote based on name recognition alone, and I knew that some people like to choose something instead of nothing on the ballot, but I still did not expect those abstract concepts to become a concrete experience in the whole twenty minutes my kids were interested in our electioneering effort.

Like I said, wow.

Yes, You Will Take A Nap Today

2010-10-26T16:02:00.000-04:00

Prima was not much of a napper. She began sleeping 12 hours a night at three months old and then didn't sleep during the day until she was one. That was not a fun nine months. Even after she started taking an afternoon nap, it was always short, and of course her nighttime sleeping decreased too. Seconda came along and loved to sleep. That's my girl. Terza, with all of her third-child traits, had to out-do Seconda and took a morning nap and an afternoon nap AND slept 11 hours a night until she was 18 months old. I actually had to break her of her morning nap habit so she would learn to talk.

She's now three and a half, talks non-stop, and is trying to give up her afternoon nap. I'm not okay with this. I would adjust and accept it if she could skip that nap and make it to dinner time without multiple meltdowns or falling asleep in the car.

I got her to nap today, and I love it. She's right here beside me, asleep in my bed, as cute as a button. Sleeping kids are so beautiful, so precious, so peaceful. In two years, Terza will be in kindergarten. I will be gushing over how cute she is when she describes the delight of ordering lunch from the cafeteria, or tells me about being on the video morning announcements, or shows me her first school library book. For now, though, I will soak up this sleeping cuteness while I've got the chance.

Great Sage: A Love Story

2010-10-25T11:48:00.000-04:00

I fell in love with Great Sage a few years ago. Immediately, their love of what they do - serve gourmet meat-free food in a comfortably casual environment - captivated me. My kids loved the mac-n-cheese, and every dish I tried was a hit. Whenever I wanted to have a truly delicious lunch in a beautiful and peaceful place, I went to Great Sage.

Like most love stories, this one is not without heartbreak. Great Sage evolved from vegetarian to completely vegan. I didn't know this change was coming, and when I finally discovered it, I was mid-bite into my daughter's mac-n-"cheese". I don't like food that comes with quotation marks. Actually, I just don't like soy-based substitutes for dairy. Seconda was intolerant of milk proteins when she was a toddler, and I just never could get used to the soy cheese.

Anyway, I still love Great Sage. I find it so peaceful, and I love that everyone there seems to feel passionate about their restaurant. A restaurant that conveys warmth, that feeling of being happy you're there without being gimmicky, is a special place. Terza and I enjoyed a nice lunch there on Friday. She ordered the kids' pizza with "pepperoni". I'm glad she did, because I was curious about the "pepperoni". It was surprisingly good, however I cannot say the same for the "mozzarella". No matter, though, because after devouring her broccoli (the first thing she does whenever dining at Great Sage), she finished every last bit of that pizza.

I considered ordering a dish I knew I loved - the roast veggie wrap - but I felt adventurous enough to try food with quotation marks for myself. The southwest "bacon" ranch wrap was really, really good. Great Sage, I think I'm falling for you all over again.

(I also wish I had written this post Friday after lunch, on a full belly, instead of quarter-till lunch on Monday. Ah, live and learn.)

My Grandmother is Pretty Much My Favorite Person

2010-10-20T22:21:00.000-04:00

Nonna has a personality unlike anyone I've ever known. Lots of people whom I love dearly have traits similar to her, but no one is the complete package like Nonna. She is gregarious, she is funny. She loves her family and friends with such devotion. She makes awesome cookies and Thanksgiving stuffing. She has stories for every situation. She has the most adorable accent because she is from Italy. She is stubborn. She is soft. She is pretty much my favorite person.

She's not on her deathbed or anything like that, but she has had some health set-backs over the last year, including a fall this week. It's kind of amazing, because she's only a couple of months away from her 92nd birthday. Nonna lived in the home where she raised her family until she was 82, the lived independently in a senior living apartment complex until a year ago. She's one tough cookie, and I love her so much.

I think I've always felt close to Nonna, but our relationship really deepened once I became a mother. On my first Thanksgiving as a mom, something burned in the oven. The smoke detectors were blaring, and baby Zoe was sleeping. Nonna just held her and rocked her while the rest of us opened doors and windows, waved smoke away from the detectors, and tried to salvage the food. Remembering that image of her is like wrapping up in a blanket that smells like your favorite memory.

One of the many things I cherish from my time as a stay-at-home-mother is the opportunity to spend more time with Nonna. I have pictures of her holding each of her great-granddaughters in the same chair. She would keep peanut butter jar lids and lemon juice containers in a drawer for the kids to play with when they were toddlers. She often treated us to lunch in the dining hall. I am so lucky.

Farm Field Trip: Green Meadows Farms

2010-10-15T09:54:00.000-04:00

Wednesday was Terza's first farm field trip. We went to Green Meadows Petting Farm in Jessup. Of course, she LOVED it. Terza really loves animals, and because this was a petting farm she was in seventh heaven. The bonus: she milked two cows.

You could enter the pens for the turkeys, chickens, and geese. Terza worked hard to keep herself from chasing them.

This baby goat is about a week old. There were baby lambs that were born the day before our trip. Aawwww!

Is your mama a llama? (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

If we could have picked the piggies up and cuddled them, we would have. They are so cute! This box was outside a shed where the mama pig was nursing some more of her babies. There were two other pens with big, big pigs as well.

Green Meadows Farm is a wonderful petting farm. The animal pens are spread out nicely while all in view of each other, which keeps any one pen from overcrowding. There are a couple of small arenas (bleachers set up in a semi-circle in front of a large pen) where the staff talk to you about and show you some of the animals. There is a large covered picnic area at the entrance, and another open-air picnic area just inside the gate. Green Meadows also has a concession stand, and lots and lots of handwashing/sanitizing stations. After seeing the animals, we took a hayride, picked a pumpkin from the patch on our way out. It was a gorgeous fall day, and the Green Meadows set up is really nice for school field trips or family fun.

Gaggle of Girls

2010-10-10T08:06:00.000-04:00

Last night, Prima and six of her girl friends, plus her two sisters, celebrated her birthday with pizza and a movie at our house. "Scooby Doo and the Samurai Sword" sent the girls into fits of giggles as they tried out their own kung fu moves on each other. After the movie, the girls made friendship bracelets. It was just as much fun for us as the moon bounce party for Seconda last weekend, and it gave me one more reminder of our new phase of family life - the elementary school phase. Sleepovers are surely not far behind.

Obligatory Stink Bug Post

2010-10-08T17:29:00.000-04:00

Ok, these things have got to go. Seriously. One crawled up my pant leg today. They have begun flying onto people, on purpose. The rains brought a reprieve, but now it's like the bugs have gone silly. They sent Terza into a fit of hysteria on the playground this afternoon. She crawled into a part of the play structure for the shade. Apparently, the stink bugs went there for the same reason. You probably heard her screaming.

(In her defense, she's equally scared of all flying insects after being stung by a yellow jacket a few weeks ago. This afternoon's lunch at a local parking lot cafe put her nerves on edge due to the yellow jackets and flies that insisted on joining our party of four.)

There was a little boy, maybe he was in first or second grade, asking lots of stink bug questions of the adults at the playground. Why are there so many? What kills them? Can't we spray something on them? Why are there so many? Where did they come from? Why are there so many?

Good questions, kid, good questions.

Working it Out

2010-10-06T10:00:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here with ice on my shin. I began the Couch to 5K program last week, and just like when I "ran" high school track, I have shin splints. Ever since ninth grade, I've loved the idea of running. I see runners outside and think they look peaceful and healthy. I joined the indoor track team in high school, but I was always so pickin' slow. I kept up with it in fits and starts because I loved my friends on the team, I loved the camaraderie experienced at meets despite my shin splints and my last-place finishes.

A month ago, I just got sick of my sedentary self. I'm the heaviest I've ever been (except for during pregnancies). So, I'm working out. If left to my own devices, I'll I find a way to exert minimum effort. The Couch to 5K app politely tells me when to run and when to walk. I don't have to think, but I can't ignore it, either. It's like having a nice Jillian Michaels in my ear.

Things that Hit a Nerve

2010-10-05T14:01:00.000-04:00

I love blogs. I have been a lover of blogs since I became a parent, almost eight years ago. I love the opportunity for conversation that doesn't require physical co-location. In other words, it's great to have conversations with people spread out all over the place, especially when you're unable to gather with people face-to-face.

As I went through my morning routine of reading local blogs over coffee, I read a post and comment thread that hit a nerve. Oh, boy. I added my thoughts to the thread, of course, because standing silently by with a hit nerve is not something I do. (No matter how much I wish I could be silent, alas.)

I don't like the feeling of a hit nerve. I ruminate about it for awhile. Today's hit nerve made me remember some things that hit a nerve recently, such as:

1. Guilt-by-loose-association character smears in politics
2. Unfair calls by NFL referees that go against my Ravens
3. Jon Gruden saying "Jaws" 14 gagillion times during Sunday Night Football.
4. People chewing with their lips open, or talking with their mouths full (gross)
5. People holding their opponents to higher standards than they hold their friends
6. Assumptions that people who do not say anything publicly about an institution (like schools) are totally happy or totally indifferent
7. The pejorative use of the term for a feminine hygiene product to mean something like "obnoxious person"

Thanks for letting me vent, Blogosphere. ;-)

Ellicott City Fall Festival

2010-09-27T14:54:00.000-04:00

As a little girl, whenever my parents drove me through historic Ellicott City, I felt like we had entered a special place. The narrow, winding roads and the oldest buildings I had seen captured my imagination. They still do, in fact.

We went to the Ellicott City Fall Festival on a whim, and arrived as it was ending. We were able to see the colorful balloons and displays set up by various vendors and enjoy a beer in the beer garden as the band finished it's set. The girls were mesmerized by the river that flows under the buildings at Tiber Alley. We struck up a conversation with another couple about Obladi and agreed that a hotel on Main Street is a good thing for Ellicott City. Then, it was off to dinner at Cacao Lane. The food was excellent, although my husband would advise you to order your steak under your normal doneness. I discovered that Ommegang Abbey Ale may just be the perfect fall brew.

After dinner, we ventured down Main Street to the bridge crossing the Patapsco River. The girls loved spotting the various rock cairns. We were all excited by this work of art:

Today, I read about the passing of Teddy Betts, the "father" of the Patapsco River rock cairns. They are a symbol of his legacy and I am inspired by his story.

In the Swing of Things

2010-09-24T11:01:00.000-04:00

Hooray for a full week of school! It wasn't quite a normal week with after school activities, but close enough. Our elementary school's Back to School Night was great. We are new to the school, and I was very pleased with the presentations. Teachers gave presentations to their own students' parents. Some schools, our last school included, give team presentations. In our case, only the team leader spoke and all of the parents for that grade were assembled in one room. I don't like this. I want to get a sense of the teacher. I want to hear about how she conducts her classroom and get a sense of her personality. This helps me understand the context of the "what I did in school today" stories from my children.

We have two kids in the school, so we went to two teacher presentations. I am thrilled with the girls' teachers. I think their personalities match very well, the classroom environments work for each child, and my girls are happy. We are in the swing of things!

Adventures in Cooking: Canning

2010-08-15T19:55:00.000-04:00

I've never canned anything before this summer, but ever since I found some homey homemaker blogs a few years ago, I thought I'd give it a try. (Perhaps because I'm a suburbanite, born and raised, that I have two recurring fantasies - living sustainably on a homestead and living the city life in New York.)

One super duper cool thing about living in HoCo is all the great farms and farmers markets. I happen to love Gorman Farm's produce stand. One day, I may join the CSA, but for now I'm content to visit the produce stand. I bought a huge box of Roma tomatoes a couple of weeks ago and tried out a few of the recipes from The Big Book of Preserving the Harvest.

First, I made some Tomato Jam, which is nice and savory, but slightly sweet spread that's good on a bagel with cream cheese. When I first made it, I had more than I could can so I served it fresh and hot on chicken. YUM.

Today, I made a tomato-basil sauce (not from Preserving the Harvest) that will be a great base to jazz up with wine, bay leaves, and garlic, as well as a salsa. Can't wait to try those!

We've got a little bit of summer vacation left before school, and hopefully we can make it to some more farms and load up on more fruits and veggies to can. I'd like to try my hand at pickles.

Wondering Aloud: Local Non-Partisan Politics Edition

2010-08-06T07:47:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I spent some time reading a very thoughtful discussion thread between a few local Board of Education candidates and concerned citizens. There's this little Yahoo group in my neck of the woods where these people gather, but for some reason I thought there were more members than there are (273).

273! Come on!

I'm pretty concerned about the outcome of this election. The board members and the central office administration will need to make really tough budget decisions for the foreseeable future, given declining municipal revenues and whatnot. My kids are among those who will be affected by those decisions.

So if in my county of about 175,000 registered voters only 273 people have found and joined this group, this resource, this great forum where one current official and four or five of the eleven candidates post messages with decent frequency, how do all the others learn about the candidates and arrive at their voting decisions?

Back in the early to mid-00's I read the newspaper (on actual paper) to learn about the candidates. It wasn't a one-shot deal, either, like a spread comparing all the candidates or an election primer piece or such. My opinions were formed over time by reading education articles in the local weekly paper, with occasional bits by the local major daily paper as well.

Now, we've got this nice Yahoo group, the online versions of the weekly and daily papers, Facebook, Twitter, and blogs. I wondered how the candidates were using these venues.

On Facebook, 8 of the 11 candidates have a presence. One of those seems to only have a personal profile, and he has almost 900 "friends". The others have set up pages for themselves as candidates, separate from their profiles. Connections to these pages range from 17 to 252. Two of the candidates who post regularly to the Yahoo! group have 17-18 people connected ("likes") to their Facebook candidate page. Hmm.

About 95,000 people voted in the 2008 general election for Board of Education. (285,201 votes were cast across all the candidates in a "choose three" vote). I suppose that number will be lower this year. In 2006 (the last non-presidential election year), about 67,000 people voted in the Board of Education election. That's a lot more than 20, or 200 for that matter.

So, Board of Ed candidates, how are you getting out the vote?

A Dream of Teaching

2010-07-30T13:59:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a dream in which I brought Seconda to school for her first day of kindergarten and then was immediately hired and put to work as the kindergarten teacher. Then, there was a tornado heading for the school and we had to huddle in the hallways. After the storm passed, we went outside and we were in this place that was a mashup of Brooklyn, Cape Cod, and the Jersey shore. The Jersey shore part is weird because I've never really been there, except for one time when I took the wrong exit off the NJ turnpike on my way home from Brooklyn. Maybe enough of my Facebook friends have been there recently, filling my news feed with pics.

Adventures of Three American Girls

2010-07-29T08:57:00.000-04:00

We went to the Big Apple a couple of weeks ago for a little girl time in the city. Man, I love New York! We spent six weeks in Brooklyn last summer (glad we're not doing that this summer, the heat being one reason), and every couple of months the girls still ask me about when we will go back. Love that!

So, what would we do with just a day in the city this time? Go to American Girl Place, of course! What started as just plans for lunch turned into a shopping spree and photo session with lunch extravaganza. I really love the books and movies, but hadn't really considered the dolls before. My kids aren't that into dolls, so they never asked for an American Girl of their own. That is, until they were presented with the wonderful abundance of dolls and outfits and accessories (oh my!) on display in American Girl Place!

I felt a little bit like a sucker of a mom who handed the credit card right over. My girls are still fawning over their special dolls, though, and Prima especially could watch the Chrissa movie all day every day. It was an adventure!

Camping, Round One

2010-07-12T10:56:00.000-04:00

Well, that was fun. Last weekend, we went camping as a family for the first time. We picked a local campground/RV park, packed the van, and went to it. The kids had fun, the hubby had fun, and I...well, I'm glad we went. The weather was disappointing (too hot the first night, too rainy the next day), but I learned a lot about what I like about camping.

The kids were the happiest when they were playing "Space Commanders" in the tent - using the nozzles from their hydration packs as their communications radios, playing arcade games in the game room, using walking sticks and sporting hydration packs on our "hike" along the gravel paths in the campground, and while eating yummy food cooked over the fire. (Corn cooked in Manwich sauce doesn't qualify as yummy. Who knew?) I was the happiest when they were the happiest.

Despite my crankiness at the campground, I am really looking forward to camping again. A place with more hiking trails would be wonderful. A better planned and better executed camp menu wouldn't hurt, either. And, I think I need to brush up on my camp songs, because we can only sing "The Littlest Worm" so many times, ya know.

Sunflowers, tomatoes, basil, peaches, PURPLE PEPPERS?

2010-07-02T15:12:00.000-04:00

Terza and I went to a local organic farm today for some fresh stuff. I love, love, love that we have so many farms around here. They feed my daydreams of one day owning my own and offering all sorts of goodies to the local masses. Anyway, we picked up a bunch of basil and a quart of peaches because I hope to make this delicious-looking recipe for grilled peaches with basil-blackberry butter this weekend. Now I need to get the berries...

We also found this gorgeous bouquet of sunflowers:

The purple peppers are really cute, too. I guess they will taste just like a green bell pepper, which means they're going in the salsa.

The weather today is just amazing (comfortably warm, low humidity, blue skies) and it's Friday. Before a holiday weekend. Nice. I don't really have plans aside from enjoying my family. I hope you enjoy the weekend, too!

The Dreaded Milestone

2010-07-01T14:06:00.001-04:00

I was not a successful potty-trainer. Well, ok, maybe that's too harsh because Prima and Seconda actually are potty-trained, it's just that it was hell to get them there. Seconda was worse than Prima, bucking conventional wisdom that second children are easier to train because they see their older siblings using the toilet. I won't go into the gory details of those episodes here, mostly because I've blocked the details and am just left with a shudder of dread. So maybe I was just an inefficient potty-trainer.

Terza, who had her third birthday recently, has the stubbornness of Seconda. So far, not a good sign. Then, there's the constipation issue (there, I said it) that Terza's struggled with since her first birthday. Alsa not a promising sign for smooth potty-training. My expectations must be too high, or my neuroticism is winning over my reason, or something. I'm clearly all worked up over this, the dreaded milestone of potty-training.

Well, I did things differently this time. First of all, I learned that pull-ups are not diapers. (Duh.) I don't know why I didn't know that in the first place, but it is what it is. Secondly, I got rid of all of the other people in the house. No distractions. Also, I resorted to bribery. I used marshmallows with the first two kids, but that didn't seem to matter to them. Terza got M&Ms. One for #1, two for #2; that's simple enough.

Day one of Terza's potty practice began on Monday, but everyone had been sick over the weekend so there was no camp. Still, we began the practice because we ran out of diapers. Well, except for one. Terza started the day in underwear but after her first mess she remembered about that last diaper. She insisted on wearing it. Fine. After she used it up, she agreed to wear underwear. Good.

We were in the bathroom, Terza on the toilet, me on the floor wishing for the Potty Fairy to come and make it all happen magically, when I began to wonder how I could actually get her to pee already. Hmm...maybe there's a lesson from childhood sleepover pranks that I could apply? Ok, hand in the bucket of warm water it is, then. Success! M&M! Mama gets one, too!

Day one got better after that. One more mess happened, but Terza clearly didn't like it and wanted to really get better at this toilet-using, underwear-wearing business. She didn't let some pee in her pants discourage her. Oh, no. She was going to get this.

Day two started with Terza waking before the sun. Goodness. This is not normal for her, and I hate mornings, so I knew I needed to just breathe. As it turned out, potty-training became amusing on this day. At one point, Terza sat on the toilet, looked up at me and said in that sing-song voice, "Wait for it..." She had gas all day, and after her first toot in the morning I told her that was a sign she needed to poop soon. Every toot after that had her running to the bathroom. Hours and hours go by, it's late afternoon, and she sits on the toilet after another toot. I'm in the next room when I hear her whisper to herself, "Finally, I did it." Then she hollered so her sisters away at camp could hear, "MAMA, I POOPED ON DA TOY-WET!!!" With that, she earned her first double dose of M&Ms.

On day three, Terza worked towards being crowned Queen of the Crapper. She went #2 about 10 times yesterday. She loved earning two "M-or-Ms" (as she calls them) for each #2 in the potty. She'd settle for a #1 alone, but she learned she can combine her efforts for an even greater reward. Oh boy. I may have created a monster. Now I have to figure out how to wean her from the candy. This is the trouble with bribery.

Potty-training this child has been so much easier than training the others. Thank Goodness! We're on day four today, and Terza has visited the toilet what I consider to be a reasonable number of times. Maybe we'll venture out of the house tomorrow!

Introductions

2010-06-30T18:05:00.000-04:00

My husband is The Man. He got that name by being the only one (adult male) in this household. I've been told to get The Man a dog because, poor him, he has three daughters. The Man doesn't like dogs, which is good, because I don't like dog hair, dog poop, and dog drool. Plus, I've got my hands full with kid hair, kid poop, and kid drool. Well, not so much the drool anymore, but still, no dog.

My children are Prima, Seconda, and Terza. Why? Because they were born in that order (first, second, third) and it sounds nicer in Italian. I may be biased because my heritage is Italian. I always loved how, in the movie Big Night, the brothers were named Primo and Secondo. Which reminds me...I adore Stanley Tucci.

I am Lisa B, Mrs. S. You might already know me "in real life". I owe the Lisa B nickname to my brother-in-law, and I'm not sure anymore what the B stands for. I hope it's complimentary. Mrs. S. is what my students called me because I have one of those last names that elementary school teachers don't even try to get their students to pronounce. It's not that the kids couldn't say it correctly, it's that it's so cool to have a teacher allow you to address them by a nickname.

I've been a die-hard blog reader since 2003. I started with the pioneers of mommy-blogging, then found some crafty blogs. My current blog rotation includes local blogs, too. This blog will, hopefully, be all of those and more. I've been receiving amusement and information from this community called The Blogosphere for seven years, it's time I gave back. ;-)

Enjoy, and drop me a note to say "hi". I'd love to hear from you.